Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Author Archives: dawnkinster


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The difference

I search for her outline through the foggy glass during this morning’s shower. She’s a youngster still, and she could be doing anything, most likely chewing on something. I remember how Katie used to sleep against the far wall every morning for years as I got ready for work. Penny doesn’t sleep while I shower. She investigates.

But this morning she is lying on the rug, her shape and size familiar yet different. At 7 months she’s about the same size as Katie was as an adult but Penny has a few more months of growing to go.

As I step out of the shower she licks the water from my ankles. I close my eyes and remember the delicate butterfly wing kisses Katie used to give while doing the same thing. Penny is not nearly so delicate but tickles my feet in her own unique way. I smile, in rememberance of what was before and in appreciation of what is now.

Later in the morning Penny comes to find me in the office and pokes me in the hip. She wants attention. Or a treat. I remember Katie doing the same thing when she felt ignored. I smile and take Penny outside, though clearly what she really wants to do is play.

So we come back inside and I sit on her big pillow in the middle of the living room and reach for her brush. She lays down beside me and lets me manipulate her into position for brushing. And when her tummy is done she stretches deeply and curls up against my legs, letting me brush her ears and then her long sable back, over and over, as I remember how Katie hated being brushed, how it was a chore that we both avoided.

I smile down at this little/big dog who is loving the long smooth strokes down her back, neither of us in any hurry to move. She props her nose up on the pillow, glances sideways at me and closes her eyes in happiness. I kiss her nose and silently thank her for beginning to heal my broken heart.

And then a squirrel leaps onto the deck with a thud and Penny is instantly on alert and streaks off to inspect the perimeter of her home.

Katie’s shift has ended, and Penny is more than ready to assume the responsibilities. Different girls, different silhouettes, different personalities, but the same love.


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But wait! There’s more!

Here it is the end of June and I still haven’t shown you everything we did while camping in northern Michigan in early May. I showed you the stars, and the hiking and camping.

But did I tell you about the barns?

On one of the five days I spent near Sleeping Bear my friend and I drove around the very tip of Michigan’s little finger, taking pictures of the barns and orchards.

It was so much fun. The cherry orchards were just finishing up their blooms and the apple orchard’s blossoms were in their prime.

I haven’t been lucky enough to be there in the spring very often, and each time I round a corner and see a hillside in full bloom I’m stunned.

And of course all those orchards require barns, and there are so many beautiful barns in this part of our state, it’s hard to choose just a few to share with you.

I’ve been to visit Northport many times, and every time I’m there I find another barn that I just have to stop and shoot.

Sometimes it’s a barn I’ve taken pictures of every time I’m there. It doesn’t matter, the light or the trees or the angle or even my mood will be different.

The combination of orchards in bloom and barns is always irresistible.

And while we were there we went in search of trillium, which was also in full bloom that week. The famous Trillium Hill was a must stop.

We laughed about how many pictures of trillium a person needed. I am pretty sure the number is higher than I can count.

And of course there were marsh marigolds galore too.

Northport is a place that’s always hard for me to leave.


And though I never want to leave this special part of our state, I know I’m lucky I get to visit it often.

To think I almost didn’t get these images shared! The summer is marching on and soon I’ll be off on other adventures. But I’ll always love my time in Northport!

I hope you’ve enjoyed this abbreviated version too.


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There was also me

I took puppy Penny to the farm this week because she was an integral part of my photo shoot.

I needed a ‘head shot’ for the Truck Safety Coalition’s webpage about it’s board. The Executive Director suggested I include Penny.

I was of two minds about that, but given she’s such a big part of our lives, and that she’ll probably sit through any number of meetings, I decided to provide them one image of just me, and another of the two of us.

I’d leave it up to the ED which one he used on the board page of our website.

I asked a photographer, Adrian Bradley, who I’d gotten to know through Facebook and who lived down near the farm to take the images. I think he did a great job. It took us all of about 15 minutes.

Thanks, also, to my cousin for permission to use his barns and farm as a background for our photography adventure.


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Farm dog

Hey everybody! It’s me, your Adventure-girl, Penny!

It’s a new adventure!

Guess what, guess what, guess WHAT! I got to go on my very first adventure (that wasn’t a trip to the vet) and let me tell you, there’s a whole world out there.

I can’t wait to see it all!

This is the farm where my grandma grew up.

I personally think I’m going to be very popular with the world, but enough about me. Oh wait. There’s never enough about me!

This image took mom about 15 tries to get. Mom should practice more.

ANYWAY…this week mom needed to get some photos of her (huh, that’s different isn’t it!) so she made arrangements with a photographer to meet her at the family farm down in Ann Arbor. And she took me along with her!

Mostly she got pictures of me getting up and moving. She needs to practice being faster.

I rode in the back seat of the car wearing a harness and a seat belt instead of being in my crate. So I got to watch stuff out the window and you know what? I didn’t throw up even once! Mom says I might turn out to be an awesome traveler!

This is mom’s favorite image from our farm photoshoot. I think I look good too.

After mom got her picture taken near the pretty red barns she took a few pictures of me. She says it’s a challenge, whatever that means.

I know how to pose for mom. But don’t tell her, I like to make her sweat a little.

But I’m getting the hang of it. As long as mom has treats in her pockets and patience in her heart, we get it done together.

Hey mom, are we almost done here? I’m getting tired and hot.

Mom said she was very happy with me even though I didn’t always want to look at her when she was taking pictures. Geeze mom, there was a LOT to look at and I needed to make sure we were safe from anything lurking around the backside of those barns!

Did I hear something over there?

Mom told me some stories about when she was a little girl and spent time at this farm. It sounds like she has a lot of good memories.

Just getting a little nap in on the ride home.

And now she has a new memory at the farm that includes me!


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In search of Lady Slippers

No, it’s not that I lost my slippers. Or that I need to buy some slippers, though some winter mornings I wish I had.

Prairie Smoke blossom at the end of this years bloom.

No, this week I was lucky enough to be invited along on an adventure with a college friend and her mom in search of Showy Lady Slipper plants.

What will we find along the boardwalk?

We drove over to central Michigan, kind of north of Grand Rapids, to Pierce Cedar Creek Nature Center where my friend’s mom had seen the lady slippers in previous years. And sure enough, she was soon grinning from ear to ear.

Isn’t this just stunning? Even the leaf structure is beautiful.

These are taller than the yellow lady slippers I’ve seen in the Upper Peninsula, and such a beautiful shade of pink. Definitely worth the drive.

Such a pretty plant.

In fact the whole boardwalk area was worth the drive, a wetland filled with blue flag iris and wild roses.

Blue iris as far as you could see.

And if you looked close you’d find a bit of red too.

A little columbine hidden back in the brush.

After we were finished photographing the lady slippers and were headed back to the car my friend’s mom saw an oriole dive down into the reeds.

Artsy fartsy lady slipper bud.

Of course we didn’t believe her, told her it was probably the yellow warbler that we’d been hearing.

Do I LOOK like a yellow warbler?!

But darned if she wasn’t right. As we discussed the possibility of an oriole diving it flew up into a dead tree, sopping wet, and proceeded to pose for us as it preened it’s feathers.

What about from this side?

We watched it until it finally flew off. Lesson learned – moms know stuff.

We spent a lot of time admiring the iris.

Then, as we continued back to the car we heard a yellowthroat singing away. Eventually we found it, hopping up and down the branches of a half dead tree.

Mr. Yellow-throat sings a pretty song.

It was hard to get a good look because it never stood still, but we did catch a glimpse of it’s cool black mask.

Joe pye weed getting ready to bloom

Man, seeing those two birds (and a whole lot of robins trying to get some attention too) sure made the day extra special. And to top it off we stopped at a dairy farm ice cream store!

I think her name is Lois.

I got lavender honey. It was amazing.

Yum.

What a wonderful way to end the day, sitting at a picnic table eating ice-cream and watching the clouds (and cars) go by.

Supervising road construction.

Oh…and on the way home there was a barn.

There are a LOT of pretty barns over there, but we had to stop for this one.

Yep. Can’t beat a road trip in Michigan with friends. I recommend it highly.


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Baby’s first walk all the way around Katie’s park

Hey there, it’s me your Adventure-Girl Penny!

So this is the pond Katie always got her picture in front of.

I bet you’ve been wondering what I’ve been up to, and since mom is off doing dishes or laundry or some other boring thing I thought I’d tell you about last weekend when I got to visit my sister Katie’s park and I walked all the way around it for the very first time!

Is there something back there?

I’ve been telling Mom I was a big girl and I could walk around that park, but for some reason she’s never taken me. I think she just wasn’t emotionally ready to handle it, you know?

It’s really nice here, mom!

I know this is Katie’s park and it’s not like I’m asking her to rename it or anything. But sometimes mom is a little slow to move forward. So I waited patiently (I’m really good at patient) for her to be ready to share the park with me, her new little girl.

We stopped at the memory tree. Mom didn’t have to explain it to me. I understood.

Well. Let me tell you it was worth the wait! Though I am not thrilled about sitting on some rock in the parking lot. Apparently Katie would pose for her there. I don’t see what the point is, so I declined to pose.

Tell me again why you want me up here, mom?

I am my own girl. Mom said that was OK, I’m allowed to be me, and she loves me just the quirky little girl way I am.

Mom says she always takes at least one artsy-fartsy image. I guess this is it.

Anyway…mom put a long line on me so I could wander further away from her. But she kept calling me when I wasn’t paying attention.

Did you call, mom?

I’d turn right around and run back to find out what she needed. And to get a snack.

This is a pretty fun game, mom!

Mom says I’m very good at something called distracted recall. She says that’s a very very important skill to have. Whatever mom, if you bring the snacks I will do recall all day.

Are you coming, mom? Katie says you lag a lot on walks.

The park was pretty the day we visited, and mom promises to take me back again real soon. I can’t wait. I liked this park a lot because we weren’t in the deep woods and I could see the sky.

Is there something back there?

Mom is figuring out I like to be in open places the better to make sure there aren’t any monsters around.

Sometimes mom focused on stuff that wasn’t me! Incredible. Katie told me to get used to it.

It’s possible to be an Adventure-Girl and also a little nervous all at the same time. Mom says that’s OK too.

I think I’ll get braver and braver the more adventures we go on. Mom’s going to put up another tent in our back yard after it stops raining. She says it has a little window down near the floor and maybe I’ll like it better. I don’t know, mom. Right now I’m thinking daddy has the right idea about camping.

Mom got a lot of pictures like this too. Tee hee.

I guess I’ll have to trust you, mom, and check out the new tent when you put it up. Maybe I’ll turn into a camping dog eventually. Dad reminds mom that I’m still just a baby.

I took a nap when we got home. Mom woke me up when she took this picture. I was not amused.

Mom says she can be patient too.


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Spellbinding

Finally. Since my mid-May camping trip to Sleeping Bear in northern Michigan I’ve been working on my night sky images. I’ve also been backing up my laptop, and experimenting with an external hard drive.

The Platt River, flowing into Lake Michigan, with lots of light pollution from a nearby town.

You know how new things, especially technical new stuff, flummoxes me. So many days went by when I looked at my laptop, sitting over there on the table and didn’t feel smart enough to try.

Looking up the river toward the Milky Way that was just coming up.

But more new photos are filling my camera’s memory card and I have this rule that I can’t download new images until I have finished processing the ones already waiting on the laptop.

Waiting for the Milky Way to rise, I turned the camera to the east at this tree. You’ve seen this image before but I loved it so much I decided to put it in this post too. That’s the northern end of the Milky Way to the right of the tree.

Silly rule. I have so many more pretty things to show you and I’m still wallowing through these stars.

Barr Lake and the Milky Way on my second night of shooting. Do you see the dark horse?

I guess that’s not such a horrible problem to have.

So I’ll show you what the night sky looked at back in May. Recognize that you won’t see the sky like this just by looking up wherever you are, even if you’re in a very dark place.

The tail end of a star-link line of satellites, it was very long, and right behind me as I was shooting the Milky Way over Barr Lake. By the time I got the camera swung around this was all that was left to see.

The camera sees much more light than our eyes do, and then I’ve processed them to bring more light out so that you can appreciate the shapes and patterns that hang out up there.

To the west of me was an outlet for the lake to flow into Lake Michigan, which is just over those dunes.

I’ve tried not to process them too much, but I do have to lighten them some because WordPress and Facebook both post images darker than they appear in my work on the laptop.

I hope you enjoy looking at the night sky. I like having company when I’m out there, and I often think of all of you while I’m shooting, hoping you can feel a little bit like you were there too when you see the images.

This is a stacked, horizontal, image of Barr Lake. That means I took multiple (11) images and stacked them together to weed out image noise.

I can’t wait to get back out there and bring you more.


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Benediction

Last October my aunt died at age 87. She was the woman that shared her beloved Ann Arbor Symphony with me for more than 30 years, who took me to see musicals and concerts, even the opera. This past week I learned another woman who mentored me in art and work had died at age 86. I watched her memorial service online and wished I’d had more time with her.

It seems the women older than me, those I looked up to and learned from, are moving on and now, when I look around, I realize I am the older woman.

I was struck by this concept last night before our Community Band spring concert while talking to our first chair clarinet who would be conducting a piece for the very first time in his young life. He was nervous and excited and kind of jumpy. I told him not to worry, that we as a band wouldn’t let him down. He smiled and nodded and skittered back to his seat.

He’s just completed 10th grade. I don’t even remember 10th grade.

Maybe they were somewhere in the audience, listening and smiling.

Last night as we played Benediction by John Stevens I thought of my aunt and my friend and hoped they were somehow listening. I said a silent thank you to them both.

Later, on the drive home, and after a pounding rainstorm had slicked the roads with a shimmer of water, the brilliant orange sun emerged from the clouds and lit the wet pavement in front of me. For a few minutes the road led directly into the setting sun, a ribbon of rose gold, seeming to lead right off into forever.

It was a perfect ending to a good day, and this older woman from a previous generation knew enough to notice and appreciate it, thanks to all the good mentoring I’ve received.

I guess it’s time to pass it on.