Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Remembering Reagan

Saturday we visited the Reagan Library in Simi Valley.  It sits high on a ridge overlooking mountains and valleys.  What a beautiful location.  We sat for quite awhile on the terrace just enjoying the view. (Click on photos to see more detail.)

Peaceful

Peaceful

Whether or not you liked Reagan you come out of his library thinking that he had some pretty rational ideas.  One in particular feels like it’s still appropriate today:

Can we learn from history?

Can we learn from history?

The economy, when he began his first term, sounds a lot like the way things are now.  Unemployment, uncertainty, people unhappy with the way government was working.  I remember those days like they were yesterday.  In some ways I guess they were yesterday.  It felt a bit uncomfortable looking at history that I’ve actually lived and it made me feel old to watch parents explaining to their children the importance of Reagan’s agreement with Russia.

"Tear down that wall!"

“Tear down that wall!”

We walked through the oval office replica, and through Air Force One which was smaller than I thought it would be, yet huge inside it’s very own glass hanger.

Forever flying.

Forever flying.

We paid our respects at Reagan’s final resting place too.  Once again I felt old as a young girl stopped, read the marker and exclaimed “He was born in 1911??” then twirled away down the sidewalk as another little girl said “I was just a baby when he died.”

Truth

Truth

Can you see what it says?  Let me read it for you:  “I know in my heart that man is good, that what is right will always eventually triumph and there is purpose and worth to each and every life.”

True Mr. President.  True.

Photo of mural at library.

Mural at library.

We left Simi Valley and headed north, the late afternoon sun making the hillsides glow.  Another perfect day

Stunning.

Stunning.

I don’t know where we’re going tomorrow — that’s the best part about this vacation.  No deadlines, no commitments, we just look at the map every evening and head out when the sun comes up.

Perfect.

Oval Office history

Oval Office history


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Leaving on a jet plane…

Don’t know when I’ll be back again…..

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Actually I do know when I’ll be back again but I don’t want to think about that yet.  For now I’m going to settle back and enjoy a vacation.  We made it all the way to the West Coast in time to see the sun set over the Pacific in Santa Monica…

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…eat dinner at Bubba’s…

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…and walk on the pier.

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It was a lovely evening.

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Long day.  But lovely.

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(Got off the merry-go-round for a little bit.)


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Do you believe in messages from beyond?

Dad and Mom...before they were parents.

Before they were parents.

I know everybody out there has loved ones that have moved on to what I think of as their next adventure.    But I’m wondering.  Do you look for signs that they’re around?  That they’re alright?  I do.

In the beginning I consciously looked all the time.  Now it’s more of an automatic thing.  Mostly it’s birds that seem to give me signs from my folks, but I’ve also begun to consider the bright orange semi trucks I see out on the road as greetings from my Dad.

I know that probably sounds weird.  After all it was a bright orange semi that killed him.  And for a lot of years seeing one of those trucks was a knife to my heart.  They are everywhere and there is no escape from them, so  some time ago I decided I couldn’t allow myself to be knifed anymore.  I started saying ‘hi’ to Dad each time I saw one and  I still do that today.  It doesn’t make it all better, but somehow it’s not as painful to see those trucks on the road anymore.

And of course I’ve told you about the stars in the sky that I’ve assigned to each of them; Orion’s belt for Mom, the Big Dipper for Dad.  At this time of the year they are both in the morning sky, high above my head when I take the dog out early.  I look for them, sometimes even have a little conversation with them, while Katie’s checking out the yard.

I’ve seen a few episodes of the TV show The Long Island Medium and wonder if people are so desperate to know their loved ones are OK that they feed the medium clues.  I wonder if I do that in a way too, wonder if I look for signs so intently at the moments when I need them close that I manufacture comforting signs.  I think the truth is that I have to believe Mom and Dad are somewhere just around the corner.  Because to think otherwise would make living without them impossibly difficult.

What about you?  Do you believe that your loved ones are still around in some form?  Somewhere more than just in your own heart?  Do you think they send messages?  Or do you think it’s all a bunch of bunk?

I wonder.

Dad and Mom 1990 Dawn's wedding


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The great Cheez-It conspiracy

I love Cheez-Its.  I know.  They’re not good for me.  They’re empty calories.  They derail diets.  Who knows what’s really in them.  I know.  I still love Cheez-Its.

For years I’ve worked on loosing the 20 pounds I’ve gained since 2004.  Actively counting calories.  Recording everything I eat.  Foregoing dessert or seconds or night time eating.  Struggling.  Making progress, falling back.  Giving up, trying again.  Joining groups, quitting groups.  Some of you know the routine.

Right now I’m allowing silly little yellow orange squares to beat me.  They sit in the vending machine I pass several times a day.  Did you know that little bag in there is 6 Weight Watcher points?  In a diet that only allows me 21 points for the entire day?  Crazy!  I think the manufacturer bakes something into them that triggers my craving.  It’s a conspiracy I say!

I know that snacking is one way of coping with stress…and there’s plenty of stress in my life…but not enough to eat like this.  So what else is it?  Why does it seem impossible to walk by that machine without contemplating spending the 85 cents?  Some days I win the battle.  Some days I don’t.

So now I need to give up on the crunchy salty goodness.  If I tell you I’m not eating these anymore will that make it true?  Can I think about each of you when I’m tempted and keep the change in the purse?  I hope so!

What about you?  What’s your favorite snack item?  And how do you keep your cravings under control?


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When is here good enough?

Home

Home

You know I suffer from wanderlust.  I’m a lot like Katie that way; give me a place to go and I’m ready.  If I had my way there would be somewhere new to visit every weekend; errands, housework and the yard responsibilities would melt away.  Some people, particularly someone I’m married to, probably think I’ve already abandoned all household responsibility.  He would be close to correct.

The road calls me constantly and it’s hard when I’m out  not to just keep going.  So I found it refreshing Sunday afternoon to feel content and happy just standing on our deck watching the birds swoop in and out of our freshly filled feeders.

My brave little titmice were first to zoom in, even before I retreated from filling the feeder.

Brave little guys

Brave little guys

The chickadees soon followed…

What you lookin at?

What you lookin at?

…and the goldfinches, now a subdued green were happy with the full thistle feeder.

Greedy goldfinches.

Greedy goldfinches.

And as soon as I was inside a whole gang of cardinals arrived to party.

Party!

Party!

It’s good to know that I can be content here too.  Even if it’s only for an evening.  I know that the call of the road will be singing loud again soon.

But for a moment it was good to be home.

Supper!

Supper!


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Weekly photo challenge: Eerie

The WordPress weekly photo challenge is Eerie.  I toyed with going out and finding something new.  I have a few ideas, but nothing exactly right.  Plus I am totally swamped this weekend.

So I went to my archives…and found a moody photo from our trip to northern California a couple of years ago.

Can you feel them?

Can you feel them?

Inside Alcatraz you can almost feel the inmates moving beside you.

Maybe someday I will make a point of going out to find eerie.  It would be fun to look.  Keep your eyes peeled, there might be something eerie near you!