Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

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Having a Mom moment

I was driving home from doggie school this morning when suddenly I missed my Mom so much.   I don’t know what triggered it; maybe I saw something that unconsciously reminded me of her, or perhaps I heard something on the radio.  I just don’t know.  Do you ever have moments like that out of the blue?

Mom died almost nine years ago and in the beginning I had “Mom moments” like this all the time and just about anywhere I went.  Seemed like everything reminded me of her whether I was at the grocery store or in the back yard.  You could catch me crying at the oddest things and in the strangest places.   As the years passed those overwhelming moments came less frequently and were less painful.  Mostly now I remember things about her that make me smile.

Sometimes it seems Mom gets lost in all the stuff we do for truck safety which centers around Dad and the crash that took him from us.  That work keeps Dad near the front of our minds as we work capital hill or write about truck issues from home.  We’re always describing the crash and Dad and why change is so important.  We don’t have a similar cause for what took Mom but her loss is just as keenly felt.

I remember a couple of years after they both died while having a bad moment I thought I’d just call Mom and ask  how long it took her to recover from Grandma’s death, sort of ask for a road map for parental grief.  It seemed like a good idea and made me feel better to think about talking to her.  For a moment.  Until I remembered again that the time to ask those kinds of questions was gone.

Today, years after she left, I am surprised at the intensity of my Mom moment.   I didn’t mind when it descended on me during the drive, it felt strangely nice and rather familiar to be back in the throes of grief, as if I were giving her due, her share of attention, making sure she is still included in my life.  We’re planning our next trip to Washington, so Dad is right there as usual and maybe this was a reaction to dredging up those memories again.   Or maybe it was just a random thing totally unrelated.

Or maybe, sometimes, a girl just misses her Mom.

Braun and Badger 047


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Definition of winter

Car on the wall.

Car on the wall.

Scott has challenged us to show what winter means to us.     Since I live in Michigan I suppose you are expecting snowy photos.  But we don’t always have snow where I live near Detroit.  Maybe you expect to see wide expanses of frozen lake.  But our lakes don’t always freeze either.  So what does happen each year at the height of winter here?  Well, the North American International Auto Show happens in January, here in Detroit, every single year.  Even in the bad years the show went on. but you can tell the auto industry is on its way back by the size of the show this year. (Click on the photos to see the detail.)

Especially beautiful were some of the concept cars…

Concept cars stretch our imagination.

Concept cars stretch our imagination.

…and the extraordinarily expensive cars…

This Bentley was only $135,000.

This Bentley was only $135,000.

…and today’s version of muscle cars.

Life size hot wheel car.

Life size hot wheel car.

So many cars, so many choices.  It’s hard to choose!  How about one of each?!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA


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The princess gains a new title

Katie here.   Mama says she is just too exhausted to explain everything that happened when I got my new title yesterday.  So I guess it’s up to me.  Geeze.  I have to do everything around here!  Besides, my view is the accurate version of the day.  No matter what anyone else says.  Because I’m the princess.

So anyway, Mama never got anything in the mail about what time stuff started, or how many dogs were entered, so we didn’t know when to get to the big event.  It was a HUGE show, about an hour away, where they had conformation dogs, and people in fancy clothes running around in circles with dogs who had their fur poofed up and hair sprayed.  Huh.  How silly is that!?  I mean, Mama didn’t even poof me up and everyone said I was beautiful.  Except for those people over on the other side of the building with their fancy shelties who were too busy spraying their dogs to notice me wandering around.

We go the the venue at 8 a.m. because that’s when the website said stuff started.  Turns out they were doing stuff already!  But our class wasn’t schedule to run until 1 p.m.!  Mama was a bit peeved, but there was another person from our school already there, so we set up camp next to her and Dad and Mama and I hung out for 5 hours together.  We went on lots of walks, and sometimes I stayed in my crate, but mostly I was content to lay in my Dad’s lap.  That surprised Mama a lot because I’m not a lap dog at all.

Sitting with my Dad

Sitting with my Dad

Finally it was our turn.  By then I wasn’t sure what we were doing there at all.  I figured I was there to judge all the other dogs as they came and went.  Sure were a lot of beautiful dogs and their crazy owners there!  I was getting really sleepy and was all warm and snuggly when suddenly Mama plucked me off of my Dad’s lap and said we were on!  On what Mama?

So we’re hanging out at the gate waiting for our classmate to finish her run, and the registration table is right there and there’s this really big lady sitting there, right next to me, and suddenly she laughed really loud and hysterically and that scares me a lot!  And I jump up and try to get away from her and my Mama is telling me to sit, and the floor is slippery and I can’t sit and that lady is making a bunch of noise and my Mama is talking to me and the whole thing is just too much and then Mama tells me to heel and we’re inside the ring and I don’t want to be there, and the judge lady must be really tired because she asks Mama if we’re ready and I’m still looking over my shoulder and Mama doesn’t even get to ask me if we’re ready to work, and the judge lady says forward before we’re ready and Mama sighs and starts to move.

So.  I figure when Mama moves, I move so I come along too…and that’s when I see it…a lovely jump about half way down the ring!  Well.  You all know how much I love to jump so I start moving faster, fixated on that jump.  I just know Mama wants me to fly over it, to show off all my fur and how beautiful I am.  But then my Mama is sort of pushing into me with her leg and saying Katie…KATIE! and back BACK!, and  then she herds me!  Can you believe it?  Mama is herding ME the herding princess!  She sort of pushes mes into this big circle left and right then I realize….we’re WORKING!  OH!   OK then Mama, why didn’t you say so?  I thought we were just having fun, I didn’t realize we were working!

You all know I take my work very seriously, so from that point on I watched my Mama very carefully and did almost everything she wanted.  OK.  I sat crooked on one part but whatever.  Everybody said I looked beautiful and I don’t think anyone else besides my Mama knows that I was going to take that jump early.  We got either a 94 or a 97, Mama forgot to go read the scores after, she was too happy that the whole thing was over.  We got first place too!  Well…there were only two of us, and the other doggie walked out of the ring in the middle of his run…but still!

I stayed awake all the way home.  Mama says my eyes were closed and my head was bobbing, but I was just resting my eyes.  No sleep allowed for the princess.  Cause I’ve got to do everything around here.

Mama says there will be video once she figures out how to upload it.  Geeze.  Mamas are so slow to learn stuff.  I could probably do it myself, but I don’t want to upstage her.

A princess is always polite.

Resting my eyes at home.

Resting my eyes at home.


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Acorn squash soup

Devious squash

Devious squash

I just finished reading Forks Over Knives, a book about eating only plant based foods.  It was interesting…but I don’t know if I could give up cheese.  Still….several of the recipes looked good, so I headed to the store and picked up some stuff to make the acorn squash soup.

Who knew that peeling 3 acorn squash could be so difficult?  The skin is hard!    I finally figured out that if I cut the squash into sections along the valley in the rind it was easier to peel.  But my fingers are still sore from gripping the vegetable peeler.

Katie was the unintended recipient of several small pieces of squash and peel.  She loved both.  I don’t know if that was because she doesn’t get people food and she thought this was special or because she really likes squash.  Could be she likes squash because I know she loves cabbage, apple, carrots and just about anything else that hits the floor.

The soup has the squash, a sweet potato and carrots plus ground ginger and sage.  It’s simmering now.

We’ll see.


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Katie here

Hello everybody!

Hello everybody!

Hey you guys!  I bet you’ve been missing ME.  ME ME ME ME ME ME…oh wait. I get carried away sometimes but you know it’s all about me.  My Mama has been soooooo busy that I hardly ever see her.  And when she comes home from work she’s usually too tired to play.  But I make her play anyway.  She can’t ignore me….not me!  I don’t give up either.  I have an endless supply of toys to drop at her feet.  And while she’s at work I practice the BIG EYES and sharp whine so that I can make her crazy when she finally shows up.

Guess what?  It works!  And for the small fee of a few dog biscuits I can teach all of you doggies the skill set.  Oh wait.  You say you already  have that down?  Well!  Doggies rule!

So anyway….Mama and I are going to do a big dog show this weekend.  On Sunday we’re going to try to get our Advanced Rally title!  Mama says she’s stressed again.  Sigh.  I don’t know why she gets like this.  It’s just another day to spend watching people and doggies do stuff.  I like to go to these, and when we’re in the ring I watch my Mama very carefully.  If she can just read all those crazy signs correctly I promise to do what she asks.  So it’s all up to her.

Me?  I’m just having a good time with my Dad while my Mama is at work.  And I’ve been dreaming about Mama and me going camping next spring.  It’s almost spring, right?  Well it should be.  After all I’m the princess…and I decree it’s almost spring!

Cause it’s all about me.  Yes it is.


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Looking for sweet potatoes?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERASome of you were asking for the recipe for the Cranberry Glazed Sweet Potatoes.  So here you go!

3 TBS dry sherry

1/2 Cup orange juice

1/4 Cup maple syrup

1 can whole cranberry sauce

1/4 teaspoon powdered ginger

2 TBS butter

3 pounds sweet potatoes, cooked, peeled and sliced.

Cook the sherry, orange juice, maple syrup, cranberry sauce and ginger over low heat 10 minutes.  Stir in the butter until melted.  Arrange the sliced, cooked sweet potatoes in a greased 9×13 pan (I use a glass pan) and pour the sauce over them.  Bake in 350 degree oven 25 minutes.  Servies 6-8.

And here are my notes:

1.  I used water instead of sherry because I don’t have any sherry.

2.  I used 6 medium sized sweet potatoes, boil them with the skins on till they are just fork tender (they’re going to cook in the oven, so don’t over cook them while boiling).  Let them cool, then slice them up.  You could cook these the day before and slice them later.

3.  I tried this with imitation maple syrup once…it wasn’t as good.  Just saying.

4.  Probably could use grated fresh ginger, but the powdered stuff is fine.

5.  I have also made this totally the day before, including putting the sauce over the potatoes, and just heated it up for the 25 minutes in the oven before company arrives.

6.  This also make excellent leftovers! 🙂

Enjoy Karen and everyone else!


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The press conference

I caught a little bit of the Sandy Hook parents’ press conference today, a month after the horrific deaths of their children.  I was walking through the living room when I saw them on the television, one of them speaking, the spouse holding the picture, the rest of them sitting behind, holding their own child’s photo.  It stopped me cold.  They are us.

I’ve stood right where they are, speaking into the cameras.  I’ve sat behind the podium holding Dad’s photo.  I’ve tried to make America see how important my private pain was, how relevant it was to everyone else.  I know their pain and I know the strength they get from that pain.  I know that every single parent there wants something, no, demands something good to come from that pain.

Their fight is so similar to ours…they are fighting big money of the NRA while we fight the big money of the ATA.  They are individual families just like us, riding the grief roller coaster and fighting a fight so large it seems impossible.  But all they are asking is for dialog.  They recognize that all guns can’t go away just like we realize that all semi trucks won’t and shouldn’t disappear.

All they want is honest dialog from both sides of the discussion.  Honest, nondefensive dialog and some compromise for the good of everyone.  That shouldn’t be such a difficult thing to do.  For the kids.  So that the loss of the kids and their wonderful teachers wasn’t just a waste of humanity.  A little honest dialog.  It’s not too much to ask.

David Wheeler, whose son Ben was murdered said “What I have recently come to realize is that I am not done being the best parent I can be for Ben.”  Exactly Mr. Wheeler.  You will always be Ben’s Dad.  Always.

And I am not done being the best daughter I can be for my Dad.  My siblings and I will never be done being Dad and Mom’s kids.  We know we’ve made a difference.  That means a lot to me.

I hope and pray that the Sandy Hook parents find that bit of peace too.  We can give them that if we pressure our legislature to sit down and talk.  Honestly.  Open to change.  Willing to give a little.  And if we can join the dialog too.  Let’s listen to the other side.  Let’s consider each others beliefs.  And lets come to a middle ground for the good of all of us.

And to honor those 26 lives and all the lives lost before.  Let’s honor them all.  We can do this.  We have to do this.

Change is hard.