memories | Change Is Hard

January 15, 2016
by dawnkinster 22 Comments

I think I have letters to write

Years ago my Dad said he could tell where he was in the life cycle by the tone of the family Christmas letters we received. Back in the early days people were starting out and talked about new babies, new jobs. Then suddenly kids were graduating and getting married and starting jobs themselves. Grandchildren began arriving. Eventually his friends started retiring, traveling, dealing with health issues. News of death was beginning to appear in holiday letters the last years of his life.

I think about that a lot as I see it reflected in the Christmas cards I receive each year. People I went to school with are grandparents now. And more and more hints that life doesn’t last forever are popping up in those yearly letters.

But it’s more than the annual holiday letter that provide clues about mortality. Social media, Facebook, Twitter and all the rest keep us up to date with people we might never have stayed connected with prior to the internet. We hear about life events almost instantly. We offer congratulations and condolences and support from a keyboard. And while I appreciate the connections I feel an old fashioned responsibility to send something more, especially when condolences are required.

So I have letters to write.

Today is the funeral of a blogger friend’s dad. Early next week a friend from high school will be burying her own dad. The two men died on the same day; I learned of their deaths while on the internet. At Christmas I learned that a coworker died last year. I hadn’t known he was sick and I want to write his widow who I never met. And last week I read online that the father of kids I used to babysit has died. His widow still lives in the house down the street from my old home. Though the children are grown, probably with kids of their own, I feel a need to let them know I’m thinking of them.

Somehow it doesn’t seem enough to just say ‘sorry for your loss’ in a Facebook post. Yet I’ve done it that way too. A friend from the dog training community lost both her parents in September last year, and all my communication was in the form of emails and Facebook posts and private messaging. Is that enough? Does that provide a more immediate support? Has the world moved on from handwritten letters that arrive with a stamp?

Or do I have letters to write?

November 4, 2015
by dawnkinster 10 Comments

Three day quote challenge. Day 3

Carol challenged me to post a quote for three days, and each day nominate someone else to carry the challenge forward. As you know if you’ve read the last two days I opted out of nominating someone. But it’s kind of fun looking for a quote to post about, so all of you readers out there should consider chiming in!

This is day 3, the last day for me…last quote for awhile. I enjoyed doing this, and it was a short enough challenge that I could deal with being organized enough to complete it. So here you go, quote #3:

“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.” – Martin Luther King

As you know I volunteer for The Truck Safety Coalition. We’ve been fighting a very tough fight; we’ve had plenty of disappointment and I’m sure we’ll face more going forward. But we never give up hope, we never give up the fight. And we never will.

Because people’s lives depend on us making a noise big enough to be heard.

Miss you Dad

November 3, 2015
by dawnkinster 6 Comments

Three Day Quote Challenge Day 2

Carol challenged me to post quotes for three days and nominate others to do the same along the way. If you read my post from yesterday you’ll know I’m breaking that rule about nominating others. I would, of course, enjoy reading quotes you’ve found…so if you decide to join this challenge let me know!

So…here’s quote #2:

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. – Albert Einstein

This one struck me because, as some of you know, I have three degrees. I like to spread school out, so though I went to undergraduate at Michigan State right after high school, I waited ten years to go back to school for my MBA from the University of Michigan – Flint. I did that while I was working full time and let me tell you I have no idea how I managed. I met some great people during the three year program, but I never really used any of it to advance my career. I graduated during a recession and was just lucky I had a job at all.

I waited more than 20 years to go back to school again. This time I was 50 and gave up my long time and lucrative career in mortgage banking to get a graduate degree in Information (otherwise known as Library Science.) from the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. I learned a ton, met even more really great people, and hoped I’d find work in a library near home. It didn’t turn out that way. I graduated in another recession and libraries were cutting budgets and letting employees go. I worked for almost a year in a library, but that was it. Back to the bank I went.

So what did I get out of all those extra years in school? Lots of friends. Great memories. A wider band of experience on which to base critical thinking. A bigger vision of the world. Fun.

In the end, it turns out, I just loved being in school. And if I could afford it I’d go back again. For me it’s not the degree so much as the experience of being with young people, talking about new things, expanding my idea of what is normal in the world today.

So I can’t say I agree with Mr. Einstein. I think education can be gotten in school…it just might not be the stuff on the syllabus or in the articles or lectures scheduled. It just might be that real education is the sum of the total experience.

It was that way for me. And I don’t regret any of it.

Graduation Day #3

November 2, 2015
by dawnkinster 12 Comments

Three Day Quote Challenge

Rules mama? There are rules?

Carol challenged me to post quotes on three days. As usual in these types of challenges I’m supposed to nominate 3 people to carry the challenge forward. That’s the hardest part for me.

Finding a quote is actually quite interesting. I’ve always admired those whose blog starts each time with a relevant quote. I’ve wondered where they find such appropriate quotes. Now I need to find a few myself.

What type of quote should I look for? Inspirational? Humorous? Pointed? I guess we’ll see how this all falls out.

So here is the Day 1 quote:

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” – Katharine Hepburn

I’ve always liked Katharine Hepburn, and now I know why. She’s right. I spent a good part of my life following all the rules. Mostly that was fine. But these days, lucky in retirement, I have begun to realize that not all rules are meant to be followed.

So the first rule I’m breaking is the nominating part of this challenge. If you, like me, would like to explore sources of inspirational, humorous, or pointed quotes…then share a few with us in the next few days.

I look forward to them all!

October 4, 2015
by dawnkinster 12 Comments

Sunday Morning memories

Few of you know that my favorite TV show is ‘Sunday Morning’ which airs every Sunday on CBS at 9 a.m. I usually work my Sundays around watching the show which includes pieces on art, music, sports, and politics along with bits of news and weather. They take a longer and more in depth look at many topics that I enjoy. I almost always learn about something new, or catch up on something I used to know about but had forgotten over the years. And if nothing else I love those nature minutes at the end.

So you can imagine my disappointment as 9 a.m. was approaching today, and I clicked over to my CBS station only to find football scheduled. Football? I started thinking back…was today really Sunday? I get confused now that I’m retired. Maybe today is Saturday. I checked a calendar and confirmed that I was not crazy. I flipped through the stations again, maybe I had forgotten what station my show was on? (Notice how I assume there’s something wrong with me rather than the world!) No ‘Sunday Morning.’

So I did what any typical middle aged person does in situations like this. I googled it. And I found out there’s some silly football game in London that has upstaged my show! But amazingly, CBS had not forgotten about all of us art lovers. They have available online, from their archives, the very first show that aired with Charles Kuralt back on January 28, 1979.

Sadly I am old enough to remember 1979 quite clearly, though I didn’t see the inaugural show back then, so of course I had to watch it today. Are you curious to know the contents of that first show?

Well, here you go:

There was a piece showing President Carter speaking on the Iran controversy, though they didn’t call it that back then. This was 10 months before the American hostages were taken, but the piece showed the growing tensions and the affect it was having on American politics. There was a short interview with Detroit Mayor Colman Young about the Republican National convention which was to be held in Detroit. I felt transported back in time.

There was a sports report done by Richard Threlkeld about big ten basketball. He was a regular on the show and I always enjoyed his work. Mr. Threlkeld was killed January of 2012 in a crash with an oil tankard in New York state. Knowing that as I watched him today in the 1979 piece made me sad. Sometimes it’s not good to know the future.

There was a story about Nelson Rockefeller who had died just two days prior. In the piece was a short interview with Mr. Rockefeller showcasing his modern and abstract art collection. He said he liked abstract art because, depending on your mood, you could see something different each time you looked at it, unlike a classical piece. Once you looked at those, he said, you knew what was there and you didn’t need to look again. Interesting perspective.

And there was a piece about the American bald eagle and how close it was to extinction. The focus was a fight over an oil refinery that was proposed for Eastport Maine, which is the furthest eastern town in the United States, and made entirely of islands. It also happened to be a sanctuary for bald eagles. In January of 1979 the eagles had won the fight and the refinery was not being built, even though it would mean jobs to a town on the brink of extinction itself. The story said that the town had a population of just over 2,000 which apparently was down from previous years. I looked Eastport up just now. The last census data is from 2010 and shows 1300 residents. The photos I could find don’t show any refinery. Which is good news for the bald eagles.

The cover story was about Pope John Paul on his first foreign trip. It looked very much like the recent Pope visit to the United states. The story talked about the struggle in the church over who would lead and toward what. I wonder if much has changed in the thirty-six years since.

So on a Sunday morning when my routine was disrupted I found a bit of ‘Sunday Morning’ to appease myself. And I got a trip back through time; short as it was it was long enough for me to realize life seems pretty much the same as it was back then. Similar issues. Similar struggles. Similar reactions. Though 1979 feels like a different life, a different world, really it wasn’t so very different than the life and world I see today.

And that’s oddly comforting.

September 6, 2015
by dawnkinster 12 Comments

WordPress photo challenge: Connected

My mom’s been gone eleven years now. Sometimes I still feel very connected to her.

Peaches in my mom’s old yellow bowl.

Like when I’m standing in her kitchen preparing peaches for the freezer.

You can see other interpretations of “Connected” at the original post. Or check out a few of my favorites here, here and here.

What makes you feel connected?

September 5, 2015
by dawnkinster 7 Comments

Sweet Southern Story

I was at the local grocery store in the small Alabama town where I’ve been hanging out for the past couple of weeks. An older man (probably about my age if I were truthful) is leaving the deli counter, a package in his hand, walking toward me.

He looks me in the eye and says “If I had any peanut brittle I’d give you some.”

I figure he’s talking to the women behind the counter, so I smile vaguely and turn my cart into an aisle, looking for something on my grocery list. He follows me and calls out. “Have you ever made peanut brittle?”

I respond that I had, but it was a long long time ago. He repeats the question. I repeat my answer. He comes closer and says he’s sorry he can’t hear me. So I say it again.

“Where’s that accent of yours from?” he asks.

“Michigan,” I say.

“Your team gonna do anything this year?” he asks.

I look at him blankly.

“You’ve got a good new coach.”

I figure out he’s talking about the University of Michigan, so I just nod in agreement…backing up down the aisle.

“You living here now?” he asks.

“No…just visiting.” I say.

“Well if you’re living around here you got to make a choice.” he says. “You got to choose either Alabama or Auburn. Doesn’t much matter which you choose but you got to make the choice.”

“You know this guy?” he asks, pointing to a store employee behind me shelving cans.

“No, I say.”

“Hey there!” says the clerk to the man.

“He’s rooting for the wrong team” says the man.

“I still pray for you every night.” says the young clerk smiling.

All three of us resume our business but the smiles stay with me as I drive back to the house. I’m still not sure what peanut brittle had to do with anything. But people sure are friendly down here in the South. Except on football weekends.

Just down the lake is a boat dock with a flag that flies. The homeowner has made his choice clear. For those of you not from around here that’s the Alabama A blowing in the breeze.

Football is huge down here.

Wonder what would happen if I were to hang Auburn’s flag at the end of our dock.

Go Tigers.

August 31, 2015
by dawnkinster 22 Comments

Gift of water

Last summer days.

My dad was always a water person. He played, as a boy, on the banks of a river and he and my mother went on a canoe trip down that river for their very first date. During his entire life he wanted to live on water, and he accomplished that when I was a kid, and then again later in life.

Reflective.

The love of water is one of the gifts my parents gave us. And another is their home. Tucked away on a big lake in a warm state it’s a place their kids gather to relax and spend time together.

Water that goes on forever.

I was thinking about what a wonderful gift the love of water is as we were out on their lake today. Big puffy white clouds interspersed with ominous dark streaks floated above us as my brother skied, as we floated near our favorite island, as we visited the mountain near where their ashes were spread eleven years ago.

Mountain balances lake.

Water. The basis of life. Magical, ever changing. Beautiful.

Evening falls.

Aren’t we lucky that our folks passed on their love of water and then made sure we were able to enjoy it for years to come.

They are always near.

And aren’t we lucky we get to spend time on a beautiful lake while thinking about them, telling stories about them, appreciating them.

Remembering them.

Island stands tall.

August 25, 2015
by dawnkinster 6 Comments

Reflection

Morning quiet

Early in the morning I sit on the deck overlooking the still lake. It is cool, surprisingly cool, as I prop my feet up on the railing and open my book. Neighborhood dogs are barking at something up the shoreline, but here on the deck it is quiet except for the fluttering of wings. So many birds flitting around the trees, I only catch a glimpse of some; a house finch, a cardinal glowing in the dappled morning light. I think the birds are startled to see me there, being used to the emptiness of this house. A hummingbird suddenly appears. It stares at the red t-shirt I slept in last night and am still wearing. Then he zooms away and I feel sad that there is no food for him, that there hasn’t been a feeder here for the past 11 years.

Mom always kept the feeder full.

August 21, 2015
by dawnkinster 9 Comments

WordPress Photo challenge: Today was a good day

I’m a lucky person. I’ve had hundreds of good days and I’ve photographed many of them. Some of the very best days happened during trips; you’ve seen lots of them right here on this blog. It seems impossible to pick just one day, much less one photo from one good day.

Still, that’s the challenge.

Yosemite grandeur

So here’s a photo from a trip to California. We wandered Yosemite National Park during a misty chilly day. It was stunning, and not just at the famous and often photographed spots. Oh sure those were amazing, the waterfalls, the mountains, all were perfect even in the mist, but it was stunning everywhere we looked. And that’s what made that day a very good day.

Go to the original post to see other interpretations. Or check out a few of my favorites here, here and here.

Now take a moment and think about your life. What makes a good day for you? Share it with us, we’d like to see!

Walk into beauty

Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Tag Archives: memories