Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Don’t want to jinx it

Our community band plays a concert tomorrow night and then we’re on to the band festival Saturday morning.  We’ve had several weeks of solid rehearsals including this past Tuesday.  I don’t know when I’ve felt so prepared.

Which begs the question…good dress rehearsal…bad performance?  Of course not!  And really, Friday night IS rather like a dress rehearsal for Saturday’s event.  Still, I hope we play our hearts out tomorrow night for family and friends…and still keep some in reserve for the next morning too.

Wish us luck.  And if you’re around…7:00 Clarkston High School Friday night.  It’s free.

Resting and waiting for tomorrow.

Resting and waiting for tomorrow.


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Beautiful Beauty and the Beast

Last night husband and I went to see the local high school production of Beauty and the Beast.  Several members of the community band I play with were either playing in the pit, singing and dancing on the stage or working lights from the booth.  What a treat.  So many talented kids.  Wonderful music, great costumes and sets merged with joyous laughter, thunderous applause and standing ovations.  Love poured from the group on stage to the audience and was tossed right back to the performers.

You see the best in a community when you watch an event like this.  The coordinated effort of students and adults creating something fine and good.  It was wonderful to watch.  And what of our favorite door?

She was adorable.


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Wordless Wednesday

Wait!  I know it’s Wordless Wednesday…but I have words I want to say.  And you know I never quite know what day it is anyway.  So let me tell you about community band rehearsal last night.  Thanks to Ricky’s Mom I practiced at least 30 minutes every day this past week.  Even when I didn’t want to.  Some days it was an hour because I just got caught up in the music.  Well.  Only a couple times did it go beyond 30 minutes.  But still.

Just a moment.  A certain sheltie who will remain anonymous seems to need my attention….

There's something OUT THERE Mama!

There’s something OUT THERE Mama!

There's something OUT THERE Mama!

What?  Be quiet??? Really?

Pouting.

Pouting.

ZZZZ z z z..z...z...

ZZZZ z z z..z…z…

…so anyway…I was telling you about last night.  We’re a community band and we use a public school to get together every Tuesday night and practice.  We have a concert in a few weeks and the music is difficult.  So when I woke up to the news the public schools were closed due to icy back roads I just knew the director who is a public school band director would get us in the closed building.  I was right and she did, and more than that the school superintendent sent a custodian to open the building for us.  We are so grateful to have the support of the school administration.

We had a wonderful rehearsal.  Everyone showed up!  And you could tell people spent some time on the music since last week; things fell together and there were some nice sounds.  Some not so nice as well, but we have 3 more rehearsals so we can pound those out.

So thanks Ricky’s Mom!  For making me accountable to practice every single night.  I need to do that this week too, but I’m heading out of town this weekend.  That means I need to spend time with the music tonight and Thursday night for sure.

OK Katie.  Let’s go check out the scary rain before I head off to work.  Silly girl.

It's noisy Mama!

It’s noisy Mama!


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Dancing to the Danzon

Tuesday night was our first band practice since our Christmas concert mid-December.  Though it was nice to have the time off, we were all eager to get back to playing again.  We are getting ready for a community band festival held at the end of February.  This of course makes us more nervous because the audience will be filled with our peers – other community bands, people that know music and will be listening with more critical ears than our family and friends.  So we want to have our stuff together.   We have six weeks.

On of the pieces we will be playing is “Danzon #2” by Marquez.  I had never heard it before, but our director sent an email out during the break letting us know, and telling us that we should go find it online and listen.  You can hear it here.  It’s almost 10 minutes long but worth the listen/watch.  This particular version is done by an orchestra, but we’ll be doing a version for a concert band.  I followed along in my music and our version is almost exactly like this one, with a few minor orchestration differences.

Tuesday night it took us 45 minutes to get from the beginning to the end of the piece.  We stopped and started a lot but some sections sounded pretty good even on the first attempt.   And there was a long duet between our first chair clarinet and an oboe player who just happens to be his 10th grade daughter.  They sounded so wonderful, the two of them together, that the rest of us, the entire band, forgot to keep counting and none of us came in after the 14 or so measures of their solo.  The director laughed and lowered her baton,  voicing what we were all thinking; what a wonderful opportunity for this father/daughter duo to play something so beautiful together.  To create something breathlessly beautiful with her Dad…it will be a memory she remembers forever.

That is the beauty of playing in a group like this.  There are several parent/teenager duos in the band and I think they all enjoy the experience of doing something like this together.  I know we enjoy having them with us.  We would not be the group we are without the support of many local musically talented kids.  They fill in our gaps, cover our mistakes and generally don’t treat us like the old farts we are.  Sometimes they remind us of how old we are just by their intense youthfulness.  But generally it’s just fun to have them around.

So, time to get back to the daily practicing.  Don’t want those young whippersnappers to outshine us more experienced players.  They get to play in their high school bands every day.  We have two hours a week.  But then we have less homework to do at night so it all balances out.

I hope.

IMG_5861


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Santa’s music

Santa reviews the music

Santa reviews the music

With all the events on Friday I didn’t tell you  how our community band’s Christmas concert went.  The concert opened with a few pieces played by a local hand-bell choir.  Their soft gentle melodies soothed our souls in a way few things could.  Though I have to say during “Greensleeves” it was pretty hard not to let the tears slide down my  checks.   As our conductor said at the end of their selections; “I think they’ve taken us to the peaceful place we need to be.”

When it was our turn to play we sat up on that high school stage and looked out into that large audience, filled with families complete with grandparents and little children.   We could still feel our hearts hurting but we were also filled with resolve to salvage something of this magical time of the year.  And so we played.  Yes there were a few bumps, and  some bad moments where we lost our concentration as well as the melody, but there were also joyous moments and fun filled moments and laughs and smiles and rousing applause.

Santa came to visit us and conducted a few of the pieces.  We always enjoy him and are especially honored to have his attention at this busy time of the year.  The children in the audience could hardly wait to visit with him after the concert.

Santa rehearses the band.

Santa rehearses the band.

In the end what felt almost inappropriate as we were driving to the venue turned out to be  just right.  In the midst of overwhelming sadness we created a little bubble of joy and for a couple of hours we were reminded to enjoy our families, to share some holiday spirit, to appreciate our community, and especially to enjoy the moment because, as we all know, the moment is all we have.

Let each of your moments be filled with love, music and warmth.

And we're on!

And we’re on!


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Concert night

Tonight is our holiday concert.  We didn’t get to perform the Halloween concert last October due to the remnants of Hurricane Sandy taking out local power that night, so this will also be our season opener.  I’m sort of nervous which is silly.  It’s Christmas music for goodness sake.  But of course, not just any Christmas music;  some of it is challenging.

After an 11 hour work day yesterday I practiced for about 30 minutes last night.  The ‘few measures’ I had planned on working on morphed into almost all of the works.  And it wasn’t pretty.  I know, I know.  The worst dress rehearsal can sometimes mean the best concert.

Here’s hoping that holds true for me tonight.

Imported Photos 00026 (Small)


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Disconnected

Imported Photos 01015It’s December.  Christmas is around the corner.  Everyone seems to be excited but I’ve been feeling disconnected from it all.  With no children and no special plans for the holiday, no shopping or cooking to do I haven’t felt empathetic while listening to the young mothers at work talk about sales and gifts and recipes and travel plans.

Today contained a bad commute to work in a downpour, a bad morning at work filled with big problems, a lunch hour spent with truck safety stuff and studying rally signs, a long afternoon trying and failing to get caught up, then a quick drive to band rehearsal where we started out playing terribly and irritating the director.   A typical and exhausting day.

But we’re practicing Christmas music for our concert next week.  And Christmas music is hard to resist.  As the rehearsal wore on we started to sound better.  People settled in.  The director smiled a little bit.  The muscles in my  neck relaxed.  No one minded going past 9 p.m. as we worked out a particularly difficult passage.  People stuck around afterward getting organized for the concert.

On the drive home I sang along with the radio – “Do You Hear What I Hear?”  and “Rudolph the Red Nosed Raindeer.”  I enjoyed the Christmas lights in the neighborhoods I drove through.  Coming down my street I saw that my husband had turned on our holiday lights for me.

I smiled as walked in the door; Katie was excited to see me and husband seemed happy too.  All in all it was a good day.  It’s December, Christmas is right around the corner and the magic of music connected me to the season. Finally.

So get out there an enjoy the season everyone.  And my best advice is to turn on the radio while you’re out.  I bet you find yourself singing along.

Happy Holidays everyone.  Happy Holidays.


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Contemplating too much

The sidewalk last week.

I got out of the office for about 30 minutes today at lunch.  We’ve been so busy, but it was jean day and I was already wearing running shoes…so no excuses not to get my walk in.  Most of the week I’ve been trapped in my cubicle.

As I walked (with camera of course) I noticed how much the color has faded since my walk earlier this week,and certainly since last week’s walks.

Trees reaching for the last bit of warmth.

Still, it was pretty.

I was thinking about how stressed I am at work, and how busy I am there and outside of work.   I’m headed to Washington next week for a couple of days to do a little truck safety stuff.  And I’ve registered Katie for a Rally trial near the end of the month, a couple of days before the community band’s first concert.

Small groves of trees watch me walk by.

Someone at work, learning I’d be out of the office for a couple of days next week, wanted to know how I did it…he said every time he talked to me I was off doing something else.  And a couple weeks ago Bruce’s uncle asked me if I was doing too much.  Something to think about I guess, and it’s not like I haven’t considered letting some stuff go before.

Walking and thinking.

But still.  All these extras are the joyful aspects of life.  Who could give up that moment during a concert when it all comes together and something beautiful emerges?  So few people get to experience that.

And when Katie sits at attention next to my left ankle waiting expectantly, and moves seamlessly with me as I call “HEEL!”and pivot to the right, all the while grinning at me…well…who wants to give that up?

Trees and clouds shot with the ‘dramatic’ setting.

And the opportunity to go to DC and make a tiny bit of difference, to know your efforts and those of your family and friends have saved lives.  Well.  It’s not possible to give that up.  At all.

Looking for answers.

In the end I finished my short walk with no solution.  It’s not the extras I want to walk away from.  It’s the work that consumes me for so many hours each day.  But I know I have to wait my turn for retirement.  Mom used to tell me that when I complained about work.

Ok.  I’ll wait.  But I’m making a list of stuff I want to do once I have my freedom.  And it’s getting pretty darn long.

Walking toward the future.


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Behind

I rise from bed before the alarm after a restless night.  I’ve dreamed what could be the dramatic first scene in a book filled with the terror of survival.  The idea for a book if I were an author.  But I don’t like those kinds of books, call them scary and rush through the worst descriptions of fear.

No time for Katie this morning, I’m behind.  A little belly rub as I wake her from sleep.  She trots to the guest room where I have hung today’s work clothes.  She hops on the bed hoping for a little nap.  No time baby, no time.  I am behind.

I’m behind.  Behind, behind, behind pounds in my head, pounds under the conscious efforts getting ready for work.  Behind.  I remember the details of my dream as I’m in the shower.  No time to think about the dream.  No time.  I’m behind.

A quick shower, no time to linger in the warm steamy water.  I’m behind.  Katie curls up on the rug.  She has time.  Drying off I am glad my hair curls whether I mess with it or not.  No time.

Last night’s rehearsal went poorly.  I need to practice.  “You are all adults.” the conductor said.  “We don’t have time to work out the wrong notes here”   There are only four rehearsals  until our concert.  We don’t have time.  I am behind.

Work is overwhelming.  Hundreds of emails, problems.  Short staffed. Cranky people including me.  No time to stretch, relax the shoulders, take a deep breath.  I worked on Sunday and now I am behind.   I think of the problems I left on my desk as I rushed to band last night.  If I just move faster maybe I’ll be less behind.

I strap time on my wrist this morning and think that no one wears a watch anymore.   I can’t stop time.  It is streaking past me, falling into the abyss of the future.   I don’t know if I am the White Rabbit or Alice.

But I know that I’m behind.


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Randomness

It’s been a crazy busy few weeks at work with no end in sight.  There’s been even more stress lately as we’re short staffed.  People are are sick, on vacation and loaned to another department.  Yet the volume continues.  I need to find a way to get through the day without being overwhelmed.  Without getting angry.  Without getting kink in  my neck.

Message to the young lady in the blue Ford tailgating me on my commute to band practice tonight:  There are four lanes of traffic.  We’re all going the same speed.  There’s a car in front of me, one on either side of me.  Where did you want me to go?  When I could I moved one lane to the right, just to get out from in front of you.  You zoomed up behind the next car.  We were all going 75.  Why do you need to go faster?  I had a really bad day at work but just because you’ve got some sort of death wish doesn’t mean I want to go with you.

Rehearsal tonight was grueling.  We’re still sight reading pieces while we figure out what we’ll play for the Halloween concert.  Some pretty strange stuff.  Some really difficult stuff.  Some strange and difficult stuff.  Two hours nonstop.  At 8:50 p.m. the conductor stopped and started talking about the season concert dates.  We figured we were done and began to relax.  Then with only a few minutes left she asked us to read one more piece.  And as we were sighing and pulling the piece out of our folders she said “You may  have noticed that this arrangement is written a half step lower than the original composition.”  My stand mate and I both said sarcastically and at the exact same time – “Yea, we noticed that.” and then we both looked at each other and burst out laughing.  We laughed so hard that we were crying.  We laughed so hard that we missed the first 16 bars of the piece of music.  We giggled through the whole thing.  It wasn’t even that funny.  Guess you had to be there.

After a long day and a bad commute, a exhausting rehearsal, it was good to end the day with laughter.

Yes it was.