sad | Change Is Hard

October 16, 2014
by dawnkinster 14 Comments

The truth behind the trip

We enjoyed sharing our trip around Lake Michigan with you through photos here on this blog and on Facebook. It was a lot of fun exploring new places, revisiting places we used to work and live, spending a tiny bit of time with friends from long ago. Mostly it was good to get away and explore.

But that’s not the reason we went.

As most of you know I volunteer for the Truck Safety Coalition (TSC), a nonprofit group that works on safety issues surrounding commercial trucks. We work through Congress and the agencies of the Department of Transportation (DOT). Most of us have family members that were killed or injured in crashes with commercial trucks and those experiences inspire us to work hard to make our roads safer.

Last week members of my family and I, along with the Executive Director of TSC and a member of another family who has also been forever changed by a truck crash, spent the day at a huge trucking company learning about their safety procedures, their plans for future safety enhancements and their feelings about the issues we’ve been working on. They invited us to come visit their facilities and talk, to see which issues we agree on and what we might be able to work on together for the good of everyone – to make our roads safer.

Imagine that.

A giant in the industry invited us, a group of hurting, stubborn, sometimes angry individuals who have no ties to trucking except through tragedy, to sit at their table and talk with them. They listened to us, expressed concern and empathy, and then told us how they are approaching safety and answered our questions as we tried to familiarize ourselves with their side of the issues.

Unprecedented.

We won’t be able to agree on everything. These are complicated issues; electronic monitoring, rules about hours of service, minimum liability insurance increases, maximum size and weight challenges, even how drivers are paid. But the more we talk the better the odds are for positive change.

TSC has worked with Congress and made some advances. We’ve worked with the DOT and made some advances. And now we’re working with a part of the trucking industry. Maybe this is another front, an untapped resource. We’ve not anti-trucking as some would like to portray us. We remind people that truck drivers die too. We’re working for safer trucking, for the good of everyone.

As a group we need to explore every avenue to safety. I am glad we got the invitation, and I’m glad I went. I learned a lot. I saw compassion and humanity on the ‘other side’ and realized once again that we’re all in this together. I know that no one individual, no one group, no one truck company can make it all right.

But together we can make it better.

We do it one day, one rule, one law, one truck company at a time. We do it in honor of those we loved and lost, in honor of the hundreds of thousands of injured. In honor of all of them we work for change. This time change began in a meeting room of a large truck company and this change is good.

And that’s why we went. Miss you Dad.

August 16, 2014
by dawnkinster 12 Comments

One last hour

If I could have one hour to spend with anyone, living or dead, I’d spend it with my mother.

I woke last night at 1:00 in the morning with that sentence running through my head. I slowed my thoughts down a bit and explored the concept. Was I sure it would be my mother? Out of all the people in the world, back through all eternity?

Yes, if it could only be one, than she was it.

I’d sit across a small table from her, out on a bluff above the ocean on a pretty spring day with seabirds floating on a breeze that made the grasses dance. I’d ask her questions. How long did it take you to grieve your mother; when did you start to feel better? When grandma died, so long after grandpa, did you feel like an orphan even though you were an adult? What’s heaven like anyway? Is dad there with you every day? Did you get to see your folks, and your own grandparents? Your brother? Can you really see us down here? All the time? Or just when we want you to, because sometimes I do stuff I’d rather you didn’t know about. What’s the secret ingredient in your potato salad?

I’d ask questions, but mostly I’d just sit and listen and look. I’d memorize her face and her voice, soak in the ‘momness’ of her. File it away to be taken out and examined later. And when the hour was gone saying goodbye would be excruciating. But no more excruciating than these past ten years have been, no more excruciating than the next ten will be. I’d hug her tight until she disappeared – until she became nothing but a wisp of sweet air.

And then I’d find myself hugging only me.

July 29, 2014
by dawnkinster 26 Comments

What to think, whose side to support.

I can’t watch TV anymore.

Round the clock news is filled with plane crashes and carjackings and runaways and murder trials and even worse, war. Up close and personal reports of war and the ordinary people that seem to be paying the price for leadership failure. Nonstop footage of dead and dying children. Interviews with mothers and fathers – you don’t have to speak their language to know what they are saying. To feel their grief.

Last night Anderson Cooper asked an onsite reporter the question I wanted to ask; where do regular people go to get away from the falling bombs? Nowhere is safe was the response from the corespondent wearing his helmet and bullet proof vest, instinctively flinching as incoming missiles shake the earth and light up the sky behind him.

Nowhere is safe.

I know I am not educated enough in the history behind the Palestine/Israeli conflict. It is generations deep and I don’t understand where it all comes from. But I listen to the leaders on each side being interviewed and I don’t see how it can be resolved. Everyone is so entrenched in their opinion of who is right and who is wrong. No one seems to be willing to listen to the other side. The cease fires expire or are broken, more warning sirens scream, more illumination missiles are shot into the air above Gaza, more people flee. Some don’t get away in time.

And I post pictures of baby deer and Katie and walks in the park and flowers in the garden and try not to think about the reality of life 7 or 8 hours ahead of my own time zone. Because I don’t know what to think about all of it; I can’t even talk about it intelligently. But I can say that it feels wrong – wrong on both sides. And that innocent people are dying and maybe it’s not our problem but then again I think maybe it is.

Not watching TV feels wrong too.

I am conflicted myself, not sure if I want to understand more of something that seems so unresolvable, but thinking I should learn about something so important. And then feeling overwhelmed by all the important things in the world that I don’t understand.

Which brings me full circle. I don’t know what to think.

June 15, 2014
by dawnkinster 10 Comments

We need your help NOW. Please. For safety.

For those of you wanting to help make our highways safer, the time is now!

We have learned that the THUD bill in the Senate (THUD stands for Transportation Housing Urban Development) will go to the floor for a vote Tuesday. Between now and Tuesday we need to make a lot of noise. We need to get their attention. We need you to contact your two Senators, (you can find the names and contact information for them here) at their Washington office. There are two amendments that we need to push back for safety’s sake.

The first is the Collins amendment that would roll back the required restart rest periods for drivers. I talked about this in a previous post. This restart rest period happens when a driver gets to 70 hours in 8 days or 60 hours in 7 days. The rest period mandates 34 hours off and has to include two consecutive early morning periods between 1 and 5 a.m. That’s the part that the Collins amendment wants to withdraw and ‘study’ though there were a great number of studies done before the rule was instituted last summer.

Tell your Senator’s office that you don’t want tired truckers on the roads you share. Tell them 4000 people die and 100,000 are injured every year in crashes with commercial trucks. Tell them you’ve heard and seen too many stories about people stopped in traffic who were run over because the truck drivers were too tired to notice what was in front of them. Tell them you have a friend whose father was killed in just that way. Tell them they should leave the rule alone for the safety of all of us, including the truck drivers. Tell them to oppose the Collins amendment.

We also know that an amendment will be introduced that is similar to the Daines amendment that narrowly passed in the House last week. We don’t know yet who will introduce the amendment Monday but it will be trying to block any increase in the minimum insurance coverage required on truck carriers.

Remind your Senators that minimum levels of insurance for trucks is currently at $750,000 and has not been increased in over 30 years. Remind them that families who suffer terrible losses and injuries should not have to carry the financial burden of these crashes. Tragic crashes with multiple injuries and deaths happen every week and the truck company’s liability insurance has to cover everyone that was injured; in multiple injury crashes all the families have to share the insurance carried. $750,000 is not enough to cover the medical bills for even one person’s traumatic injuries. If the truck company can not afford insurance to cover their very real risk and responsibilities, then they can not afford to be in the business. Please ask your Senators to oppose any amendment that blocks any increase in minimum insurance requirement.

I know if you’re not actively involved in politics, and goodness knows I never was before all this, that it can be intimidating to contact a Senator’s office. You see them on TV. They often look imposing. You’re not sure you understand the issue fully. You’re afraid of being confronted. Relax. There are very nice people that answer the phone, and they want to hear what the people in their districts think about issues. Ask to speak to their Transportation Expert. You might get him or her, or you might end up in voice mail. Either way, express your opposition to these amendments to the THUD bill. If you have to leave that message with the initial person who answered the phone that’s OK too, that’s what they’re there for. It’s just important that your opinion is heard. If you are planning on writing your Senator about this issue, please do so today or early Monday so there is time for the office to gather the information. If you’re calling, please do so Monday so that the Senator has time to receive your opinion before the vote on Tuesday. All Senators provide phone numbers for their Washington office and their district office as well as an email contact in their webpages, and you’ll find their webpages at the link at the very beginning of this post.

I find it ironic that I’m desperately asking for help on Father’s Day, a day I’m trying to ignore. But I remind myself that Dad would be the first in line to voice his opposition to these amendments if he could. As would so many others taken too soon by a tired trucker. They don’t have a voice except through us. Every single family that has been through this wants to make a difference. But we can’t do it alone. We need all of you.

This is how I choose to celebrate and honor my Dad on Father’s Day.

I hope you join me.

Happy Father’s Dad Daddy.

June 11, 2014
by dawnkinster 13 Comments

Time to get angry

I was reading an editorial this morning before heading to work. It was talking about fatigued truck drivers and how the Collins amendment to the Senate Appropriations bill wanted to withdraw part of the new Hours of Service Rule, and how safety groups were opposing any such measure. There was a place for comments below the editorial, and one of those comments was from a truck driver who was upset about being regulated. He said he was a good driver, had driven for years, never had an accident and he didn’t think he should have to follow rules, or be tested for sleep apnea, or told when or how long he could drive. His comment was long and angry.

I thought about that comment as I headed off to work, driving my daily 40 minute commute in rush hour, truck infused traffic. At first I could see his point about not wanting to be told how to do his job; I don’t like it when I’m micromanaged myself. But then I got to thinking about the bigger picture. An industry that asks it’s drivers to work 70 or more hours in a workweek, an industry that allows it’s employees to drive up to 11 hours each day with only a 30 minute break, an industry that pays by the mile causing drivers to want to drive further and faster to make a decent living, that’s an industry that pushes employees beyond what’s safe in order to make a bigger profit. That’s an industry that will never self regulate and will always need rules and, yes, even micromanaging.

Four thousand people die in crashes with semi trucks each year. Another 100,000 are injured. There are debates about what percentage of these crashes are caused by the commercial vehicle. I’ve heard anywhere from 7% to 18%. Let’s say it’s only 7%. That would mean that about 280 people a year are killed by trucker error. And 7,000 people are injured. How many people are on a typical airliner? Three hundred? So if an airliner fell from the sky every year do you think it would be ignored? If 7000 people were injured while flying would we say that was just the cost of doing business? That sounds ludicrous doesn’t it. But that’s what’s happening in the trucking industry and we ignore it until it happens to our family.

As I’m thinking about this I’m stopped in traffic on the freeway, keeping one eye on the rear view mirror, like I’m sure my Dad did when he was stopped in traffic ten years ago, and I’m getting madder and madder about the whole thing. Our safety group has an amazing opportunity this week to gain attention for our issues, but it’s at the cost of a person’s life, people’s injuries. We need more people to understand what is happening and to join our cause. We need to make a bigger noise. And here’s what I’m thinking. You don’t have to wait until someone you love is killed or injured in a crash with a semi to join our group. Look around your dinner table tonight. Who there would you be willing to sacrifice in the name of commerce, the economy, trade, profits? No one. So don’t wait until you are forced to join the unhappy club of survivors after tragedy strikes. How about joining the cause now?

We’ll need you soon to call your Senator and/or House Representative and voice opposition to amendments that are being attached to large bills. The House just passed an amendment that will prohibit the DOT from raising the required minimum level of liability insurance, which stands today at $750,000, the same as when it was originally enacted decades ago. That amendment came out of the blue and was pushed through by people influenced by the American Trucking Association which says that making truck companies carry more insurance is unfair to independent truckers. What’s unfair is that the families of people injured in truck crashes often have to bear the brunt of the medical expenses because there’s not enough insurance to cover all the expenses. And earlier this week a Senate subcommittee approved the Collins amendment that would withdraw part of the Hours of Service Rule that calls for specific rest periods after a driver works 70 hours. That amendment will come up before the full Senate next week.

We need to educate our elected officials. The ATA is already there, talking in their ears, helping with their campaign finances. We’re just families without big budgets. All we have are voices, yours and ours, united in protest. We need to get angry. And then we need to get loud. Congress doesn’t do anything without an outpouring of public concern. An outpouring. So join the fight. Let’s get angry and then lets get moving. One person lost in a preventable crash it too much. We’re way beyond that and it’s got to stop.

How many of you remember the story of Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss? It took a lot of Whos in Whoville to be heard, to save their world. It’s the same here today. All of us together are stronger than any one of us protesting. Check out a few editorials about the current issues, and decide for yourself. Can you help our cause? Because it’s not really our cause….it’s yours as well.

Some people might call me the crazy truck lady. That’s OK – I’ve been called worse. And you could do a lot worse than spending a little time fighting to make our roads safer.

Thanks to all of your for your support. You are all wonderful.

Happy Fathers Day Dad.

May 31, 2014
by dawnkinster 27 Comments

Spring cleaning

December memories

Ha! I bet you thought I was going to entertain you with stories from the backs of closets or under beds. And how would that relate to the frigid photo above? Are you confused?

Well so is our yard this spring. Confused. After the brutal winter we are managing to get through a sad and wet spring. We didn’t get any forsythia blooms, no redbud blossoms, the Japanese maple is dead, many of our birch were irretrievably bent during December’s ice storm.

So this spring instead of planting beautiful young flowers, patting soil gently around their tender roots, our tools look like this:

Cleanup tools

And the results are just as harsh.

Makes me cry

It’s a sad spring, but some things are blooming, and Katie of course tries to brighten our day. So I guess we will accept what is and move forward with what’s left of our landscape. Let’s hope next winter isn’t as harsh. I don’t think the plants that survived this last one could make it through a second.

Hey Mama! This one made it!

I don’t think I could either.

brrrrrrrrr

April 5, 2014
by dawnkinster 23 Comments

For AnnaLeah and Mary

Many of you know that I volunteer for the Truck Safety Coalition, a nonprofit in Washington DC that works to make our roads safer by pushing for legislative and rule making changes. We work both through our members of Congress and through the Department of Transportation and other agencies that regulate the trucking industry. You know that I do this in memory of my Dad who was killed by a tired trucker in December of 2004. So when you read a post dedicated to the issue of safety on our roads you run the risk of having to listen to me get on my soapbox. I’m grateful that you humor me on this because I tend to get a bit passionate, and I know that most of you are already on my side and I’m probably preaching to the choir. Still…

Humor me one more time and listen to the story of AnnaLeah and Mary.

Last May while my family and I were joined in Washington DC with many other families who have been touched by needless tragedy, while we were sitting in the DOT board room being told by different members of that agency why they hadn’t accomplished tasks they’ve been working on for years, while we listened to excuse after excuse why minimum insurance requirements hadn’t been raised yet, why stronger rear underride guards hadn’t been mandated, why there were no studies of side underride guards at all, why the federally legislated electronic onboard recorders weren’t already implemented ..well… while we were there listening to all these excuses AnnaLeah and Mary were dying in a horrific crash. Two beautiful girls just gone, another family irreparably changed.

You can hear their mother tell her story here, she does a lovely job, but I understand if you don’t want to listen. If you want to remain untouched. If it can happen to them, it can happen to anyone. Best not to know, right?

Well, here’s the short version: They were driving from North Carolina, heading to Texas for the wedding of their oldest sister. In Georgia they were hit by another vehicle and were spun under a semi. If that truck had had underride guards perhaps the girls would not have been killed. Did you know that every industrialized country in the world has underride guards on their semi trucks? But not the United States. Next time you’re driving next to a semi glance over and see where that underside of that trailer would hit you in a crash. Even a crash that you didn’t cause.

Think about that. It doesn’t have to be your fault and you can still die. Family and friends can still die. Truck companies don’t want to put protection on their vehicles to save lives of people in cars. They don’t think it’s their responsibility. They don’t want to incur the costs. It’s all about profit. But who is really paying for their profit? You and I and our families are paying that cost. Every single day.

OK. I’ll get off the soapbox now. Please, just go to this site and read a little bit. Sign the petition that we plan to take to Secretary of Transportation Foxx in May, one year after AnnaLeah and Mary died. We want to convince him to join us in the fight on three issues:

1. Increase the minimum insurance truck companies have to carry to cover the damage to families involved in crashes with them. It hasn’t been raised in 30 years.

2. Get the electronic onboard recorders implemented to keep drivers from cheating on their logbooks and driving longer hours than allowed.

3. Act to improve the safety of trucks by requiring better underride guards.

Even if you can’t listen to AnnaLeah and Mary’s Mom talk about her girls and the trip across country that ended not in a family wedding but in family tragedy, take a moment to read to the end to find out what else you can do to help. And think about these two beautiful kids next time you’re on the road driving behind or beside or in front of a semi. Think about these kids and convince yourself it’s not your problem.

I dare you.

March 30, 2014
by dawnkinster 27 Comments

Weekly Photo Challenge: Street Life

This week’s WordPress photo challenge is “Street Life.” I went down to Detroit this morning and parked near Greektown, hoping for something. But the light wasn’t great in Greektown itself, so I was wandering back to my car when I saw the towers of General Motors combined with the People Mover track overhead, the red brick factories converted to shops and lofts, and the tourists walking below.

I liked it, so I stood in the middle of the empty street and shot it.

Also on the way back to the car I saw a man, maybe Niki himself, standing outside a Greek pizza parlor…

…and unfortunately, a couple of homeless people sleeping near a grate.

Combined, these images show a version of the streets in the city of Detroit. There’s much more, of course, to this city – – much that is less photogenic. I saw some of that too but was not comfortable enough to stop. It reminded me that those of us out in the suburbs, in the country, driving our big SUVs, mowing our lawns, shopping in our trendy stores, have no idea what life is really like just a few miles down the road.

So that’s my street life submission. You can see a few of my favorites here, here and here. What does the street life in your part of the world look like? I’d be interested, and there’s plenty of time. You can post your images till next Friday at the WordPress site here.

I love how these challenges take us all over the world.

Enjoy!

Wordless Wednesday

March 12, 2014 by dawnkinster 10 Comments

March 2, 2014
by dawnkinster 31 Comments

Weekly photo challenge : Abandoned

This week’s WordPress photo challenge is show ‘abandoned.’ Lots of things ran though my mind immediately. There’s an old rusted truck out by the main road and I thought I might do that. And I will someday. But as I thought more about the word abandoned I began to feel the city of Detroit pulling me. Some of you probably know the city is in bankruptcy, the biggest city in the United States to head down that road. There’s been a lot of abandoning that has happened in the city in the past many years, but hopefully the path is becoming clearer for the emergence of a new, brighter city.

There’s one building that stands, for me, to represent the abandonment of Detroit by so many. I’ve always wanted to go downtown and photograph it, but it’s a little daunting. Scary too. So I haven’t. This weekend I decided to drive down before our weather gets worse and just see what might be possible. Turns out there were lots of people out and about right there, going to some event down the street. So, though I wasn’t able to get really close as they have it all fenced off I was able to get a few shots of the abandoned Detroit Train Station.

What a magnificent building this was in its day and what a shame that it has come to this. You can see photos of the inside here and imagine what it once was. It’s totally gutted now. When you’re further away from the building you can see daylight all the way through it, from one empty window through to the empty window on the other side. This year they hung giant lit snowflakes in some of the windows. I hear it was pretty at night.

Then I turned around and saw an old hotel, probably the place people landed when they arrived in Detroit and first stepped off the train. It’s been abandoned too, though not by the graffiti artists.

And next door to the hotel was an abandoned house, you can still see the good bones of it hidden under the boarded up windows.

Around the side of the house was this, which epitomizes abandonment to me…the abandonment of hope.

Someone had dreams here.

There’s so much more abandonment in this city; I saw it everywhere as I scurried into downtown and back out to the illusion of safety in the suburbs. It needs a braver person than me to document the pain there, and to document the return to life of what was once a great city. I’d love to do it, but it’s just too darn scary.

You can find more photos by creative people that represent “abandoned” to them, up at the first link at the top of the post….or here and here and here are a few of my favorites.

Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

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