Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Tag Archives: snow


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Release

Contemplating this past week.


It’s been a long and reflective week, beginning Saturday morning when I woke to hear the news that former President Bush had died. My first response was a deep sadness for his family, particularly for his children. My second thought was joy that he was reunited with his beloved Barbara and daughter Robin.

I guess that’s typical, the intertwining of sadness with joy during times like this, the emotions washing up and even overlapping as you maneuver your way through the tasks that must be done to celebrate a life.

Being retired I was able to watch the last journey of the President’s body from lying in state at our Capital to the beautiful ceremony at the National Cathedral and then his flight to Texas and the train ride to his library and final resting place in Houston.

A bit of joyful color in the bleak winter landscape.

And I watched his children and their spouses as they stood time after time watching the transfer of the coffin, on and off planes and the train, into and out of buildings, up and down stairs, all the while being watched by an entire world. Showing their grief or holding it in. Probably exhausted and moving on adrenaline. It’s a lot to ask of anyone, to have such a prolonged and public goodbye.

I’m glad they had a private time together when they said their last goodbye at the library. And I hope today, the day after all the ceremony is done, I hope today they are spending time with each other quietly remembering, laughingly remembering, wistfully remembering.

Looking for simple beauty.

This holiday season will be the first without their parents. To lose booth of them within the same year is so hard. So much change in such a short time, celebrations will never be the same. This year, for sure, will have sad undertones.

But there’s that sneaky joy that will infiltrate too. At times when they least expect it they’ll hear Barbara or George’s voice, telling a story, singing a silly song, laughing at an old joke. They’ll see them in the food they prepare, family favorites or maybe not, if broccoli is on the menu.

But I like broccoli mama!

And little by little, over the months and years there will be more joy and less sad. And best of all, while the sadness recedes, their parents, grandparents, great grandparents will never be far away.

Today as I watch a gentle snow fall and listen to Christmas music I realize that it’s the same for all of us during the holidays. The losses are always there, but the love is always there too.

Let the light shine on you.

My wish for the Bush family is that they spend these precious days together in privacy and peace, certain of the gratefulness of their nation and of the love they will always share within their family. I wish for them a release from the tension and pressure of such a long and public goodbye.

Let your joy show through.

And I wish, for all of you, peaceful holidays too.

Live in the moment.


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Trent’s weekly smile

I’ve been debating what to use for this week’s smiling post. It’s been snowing off and on all week, wet sticky snow that hung around long after it fell.

There was one morning with a bit of sun that just touched the treetops and then it was gone.

We got a lot, and it’s early. Most of us weren’t finished with fall yet. We complained, talked about going South.

What are you talking about mama? I LIKE snow!

And yet.

Katie has been acting like a puppy in this, our first real snow, of the season.

Hurry up mama! There’s more snow over HERE!

So I’m taking the advice of my sheltie-girl and I’m going to go with the flow and say that, believe it or not, this week the snow made me smile.

More than once.

Even without the sun it was still pretty.

And because I’m retired and didn’t have to drive in it I smiled even wider.

Katie is a wise little girl. I should take her advice more seriously.

Headed straight into winter.


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Red bird

Aunt Vi’s funeral was Tuesday. She looked beautiful, and though I know she was no longer there, I have to think she’d have been pleased by how pretty she was.

Pink was her favorite color.

She was so ready to move on to her next chapter that I could only feel relief for her. Still, it was hard walking past her for the last time at the end of the service. “I’ll see you soon,” I thought, words I’d often used as I left after visiting.

It was hard, too, to leave her at the cemetery, amid the piles of snow scraped from the ground to make room for her pink casket.

It was so cold that day.

She hated to be cold, and at the last nursing home she took advantage of having her own thermostat to keep her room toasty warm. Tropical, I used to tell her. “Are you too warm dear?” she’d ask me. “No, I’m just fine,” I’d tell her as sweat ran down my back.

It felt wrong to leave her in the cold now.

I knew she wasn’t really there, that she was already celebrating with family and friends, someplace filled with light and music and love and completeness. I knew this, but still.

A beautiful resting place for a beautiful lady.

And then, during the luncheon, all of us sitting in the rec room of the apartment building she had lived in for over twenty-five years, someone across the table from me exclaimed “Look! A cardinal!”

Sitting in a tree just outside the large windows sat a lone cardinal, staring intently at the goings on inside.

“You know Vi really loved cardinals,” I remarked. “She called them red birds.” The red bird outside moved to a different tree, still watching the people inside.

Maybe…just maybe.

The next day Katie-girl and I headed to Alabama in an effort to get away from the snow and cold. Midway on the trip we stopped in a tiny little town in Kentucky at a riverside park to stretch our legs. I took a short video of us walking along the river and posted it on Facebook. A nephew noted that he heard a cardinal in all the bird chatter I captured. Hmmmm…

I stopped by the cemetery on my way out of town the day after the funeral. The flowers hadn’t frozen.

And today on our final day of driving, at the last rest stop of the trip, Katie and I were walking along the top of a ravine. The sun was shining and we were enjoying it’s warmth when a cardinal swooped down low to a branch very near us and began to sing.

“OK!” I said, under my breath. “OK! I believe you!” And then the bird flew off into the trees. Mission accomplished.

She said she’d try to send me a sign that she was alright. I’d say she got her message across.

Loud and clear.

Buddy and all her birds are with her now.

.


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Randomness

Snow attack on the back yard.


It’s snowing here in lower Michigan. Nothing surprising about that, it is after all early February. They say we’ll get five or more inches and that it will snow all day.

Maybe all weekend.

With the weather forecast in mind I stopped at the grocery store on my way home last night. I and about a hundred of my best friends shopped mindlessly, wandering up and down the aisles not sure what I wanted, not sure what I had at home, just sure that I needed something.

Goldfinch scans his food options.

Pushing my shopping cart across the parking lot into the wind driven snow I noticed a woman in a car driving out of the lot. Something about the way she held her head, or her haircut, something about her made me think, for a moment, that it was Janet Yellen. Her last day as Chair of the Federal Reserve was just last week.

Sometimes things are just upside down.

Obviously, now that she had time, she needed to stock up before the snow arrived just like me. It didn’t occur to me that it was highly unlikely she’d be in my town in rural Michigan on a snowy Thursday night.

This much snow makes me want to drink too.

No, the reason I discounted the whole idea was that certainly Janet Yellen doesn’t shop for her own groceries.

Snow can be very isolating.

Or does she?

It’s warmer in a crowd.


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A day at the park

Katie here! I had the best day yesterday!

You know how I’ve been stuck in this house for a gazillion years? And when I did go out it was so cold that mama made me wear those silly booties? Well, I’ve been telling mama off. Repeatedly.

This is a lot of snow mama!

I’m doing my best to make her life miserable and it must have worked because yesterday mama bundled me into the car really early. I was suspicious at first because we hardly ever go anywhere that early unless it’s to the vet or the groomer or camp.

So I was sitting in my crate in the back of the car being very very quiet(so that she’d forget I was back there and maybe not take me somewhere bad) when I smelled my park! Well! I got all exited and started barking and pawing at my crate. Mama told me to be patient.

Right mama. I’m a sheltie, remember?

It was cold and windy out but mama and I walked around my pond so that I could make sure everything was good there. I hadn’t been to my park in a very long time, and you know how things can get out of hand if you’re not there to supervise.

Checking out my pond at my park in the early morning light.

It turns out things were just fine in my park and I wanted to stay longer but mama said her face was freezing and we had to go back to the car. Halfway back I refused and sat down. After all I am a princess, and this was my park. I wasn’t ready to leave.

So mama sighed and picked me up and carried me to my car. Mama does not play fair.

I was sad thinking that all the fun was over, but no! Mama took me to another park! There was a fenced area and no other doggies in it so mama let me run without my leash! I haven’t run in a very long time!

I don’t know why I have to stand on these things, but if it makes mama happy…

And then mama found a tennis ball! Oh boy my eyes lit up and I told her to throw the ball woman!

Throw it, throw it, throw it mama!!!

I wouldn’t actually pick up the ball, after all who knows what mouth that ball had been in, but I’d chase it and circle it and then run back to mama with a grin and make her go get it and throw it again.

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It was a very very fun game, and we played it for a long time. Then we walked around the park a little bit and I met a new friend. This is Louie. He and I sniffed each other and decided we could be friends. But Louie’s dad was calling him and Mama said it was time to go home and check on stuff.

Louie ignoring his dad.

Stuff? What stuff mama?

Well! When we got home there were trucks in our driveway! And lots of people coming and going! What was going on? I needed to be here to supervise! Let me at em mama!

Mama said we were getting a new furnace and that’s why she and I left so early, so that they could all work without my interference. Interference? Really mama?

Anyway, I got to supervise the last 5 hours of the furnace installation and all the people said I was a very good girl. I watched them go in and out, and I checked things out regularly. It appears they did a very good job, but it wouldn’t have been as good without me there to make sure things were done properly.

I’m watching you guys!

So I didn’t get any of my usual naps in yesterday. I figure that’s the sacrifice I have to make when my family needs me to oversee a project. Today I’m taking the whole day off….wait…what’s that you say mama? That today is going to be the warmest day in weeks? That we shouldn’t waste it inside? That we should maybe go to another park?

Well OKAY then mama! Let’s get moving woman, no time to waste! The princess demands her chariot…um…car…be brought around front for her next adventure.

Talk later people, I’ve got places to go.

Your Katie-girl.

This might be a bit much mama.