I search for her outline through the foggy glass during this morning’s shower. She’s a youngster still, and she could be doing anything, most likely chewing on something. I remember how Katie used to sleep against the far wall every morning for years as I got ready for work. Penny doesn’t sleep while I shower. She investigates.
But this morning she is lying on the rug, her shape and size familiar yet different. At 7 months she’s about the same size as Katie was as an adult but Penny has a few more months of growing to go.
As I step out of the shower she licks the water from my ankles. I close my eyes and remember the delicate butterfly wing kisses Katie used to give while doing the same thing. Penny is not nearly so delicate but tickles my feet in her own unique way. I smile, in rememberance of what was before and in appreciation of what is now.
Later in the morning Penny comes to find me in the office and pokes me in the hip. She wants attention. Or a treat. I remember Katie doing the same thing when she felt ignored. I smile and take Penny outside, though clearly what she really wants to do is play.
So we come back inside and I sit on her big pillow in the middle of the living room and reach for her brush. She lays down beside me and lets me manipulate her into position for brushing. And when her tummy is done she stretches deeply and curls up against my legs, letting me brush her ears and then her long sable back, over and over, as I remember how Katie hated being brushed, how it was a chore that we both avoided.
I smile down at this little/big dog who is loving the long smooth strokes down her back, neither of us in any hurry to move. She props her nose up on the pillow, glances sideways at me and closes her eyes in happiness. I kiss her nose and silently thank her for beginning to heal my broken heart.
And then a squirrel leaps onto the deck with a thud and Penny is instantly on alert and streaks off to inspect the perimeter of her home.
Katie’s shift has ended, and Penny is more than ready to assume the responsibilities. Different girls, different silhouettes, different personalities, but the same love.
Hey everybody! It’s me, your Adventure-girl, Penny!
It’s a new adventure!
Guess what, guess what, guess WHAT! I got to go on my very first adventure (that wasn’t a trip to the vet) and let me tell you, there’s a whole world out there.
I can’t wait to see it all!
This is the farm where my grandma grew up.
I personally think I’m going to be very popular with the world, but enough about me. Oh wait. There’s never enough about me!
This image took mom about 15 tries to get. Mom should practice more.
ANYWAY…this week mom needed to get some photos of her (huh, that’s different isn’t it!) so she made arrangements with a photographer to meet her at the family farm down in Ann Arbor. And she took me along with her!
Mostly she got pictures of me getting up and moving. She needs to practice being faster.
I rode in the back seat of the car wearing a harness and a seat belt instead of being in my crate. So I got to watch stuff out the window and you know what? I didn’t throw up even once! Mom says I might turn out to be an awesome traveler!
This is mom’s favorite image from our farm photoshoot. I think I look good too.
After mom got her picture taken near the pretty red barns she took a few pictures of me. She says it’s a challenge, whatever that means.
I know how to pose for mom. But don’t tell her, I like to make her sweat a little.
But I’m getting the hang of it. As long as mom has treats in her pockets and patience in her heart, we get it done together.
Hey mom, are we almost done here? I’m getting tired and hot.
Mom said she was very happy with me even though I didn’t always want to look at her when she was taking pictures. Geeze mom, there was a LOT to look at and I needed to make sure we were safe from anything lurking around the backside of those barns!
Did I hear something over there?
Mom told me some stories about when she was a little girl and spent time at this farm. It sounds like she has a lot of good memories.
Just getting a little nap in on the ride home.
And now she has a new memory at the farm that includes me!
So this is the pond Katie always got her picture in front of.
I bet you’ve been wondering what I’ve been up to, and since mom is off doing dishes or laundry or some other boring thing I thought I’d tell you about last weekend when I got to visit my sister Katie’s park and I walked all the way around it for the very first time!
Is there something back there?
I’ve been telling Mom I was a big girl and I could walk around that park, but for some reason she’s never taken me. I think she just wasn’t emotionally ready to handle it, you know?
It’s really nice here, mom!
I know this is Katie’s park and it’s not like I’m asking her to rename it or anything. But sometimes mom is a little slow to move forward. So I waited patiently (I’m really good at patient) for her to be ready to share the park with me, her new little girl.
We stopped at the memory tree. Mom didn’t have to explain it to me. I understood.
Well. Let me tell you it was worth the wait! Though I am not thrilled about sitting on some rock in the parking lot. Apparently Katie would pose for her there. I don’t see what the point is, so I declined to pose.
Tell me again why you want me up here, mom?
I am my own girl. Mom said that was OK, I’m allowed to be me, and she loves me just the quirky little girl way I am.
Mom says she always takes at least one artsy-fartsy image. I guess this is it.
Anyway…mom put a long line on me so I could wander further away from her. But she kept calling me when I wasn’t paying attention.
Did you call, mom?
I’d turn right around and run back to find out what she needed. And to get a snack.
This is a pretty fun game, mom!
Mom says I’m very good at something called distracted recall. She says that’s a very very important skill to have. Whatever mom, if you bring the snacks I will do recall all day.
Are you coming, mom? Katie says you lag a lot on walks.
The park was pretty the day we visited, and mom promises to take me back again real soon. I can’t wait. I liked this park a lot because we weren’t in the deep woods and I could see the sky.
Is there something back there?
Mom is figuring out I like to be in open places the better to make sure there aren’t any monsters around.
Sometimes mom focused on stuff that wasn’t me! Incredible. Katie told me to get used to it.
It’s possible to be an Adventure-Girl and also a little nervous all at the same time. Mom says that’s OK too.
I think I’ll get braver and braver the more adventures we go on. Mom’s going to put up another tent in our back yard after it stops raining. She says it has a little window down near the floor and maybe I’ll like it better. I don’t know, mom. Right now I’m thinking daddy has the right idea about camping.
Mom got a lot of pictures like this too. Tee hee.
I guess I’ll have to trust you, mom, and check out the new tent when you put it up. Maybe I’ll turn into a camping dog eventually. Dad reminds mom that I’m still just a baby.
I took a nap when we got home. Mom woke me up when she took this picture. I was not amused.
Penny here. Mom says she has more star pictures and camping pictures and barn pictures to show you, but I told her you’d rather see me! Cause I have to tell you about my date with Lance!
My friend Lance
Yep, my mom and Lance’s mom arranged a play date on Tuesday. Lance turns 1 year old tomorrow, so he’s about 6 months older than me. Isn’t he handsome?
I was smitten as soon as I met him. We hit it off right away because we both love to run! All four of our folks sat in chairs in the shade and talked and watched us play.
Our first nose touch.
Of course they made us take breaks pretty often, but we still played a lot!
Our first run together.
And Lance told me lots of secrets about how to get what you want from your parents. After all he has six more months of experience than me. I appreciated the intel.
He gave me lots of good advice.
But mostly we were just two crazy dogs having a wonderful time.
You can’t catch me!
And in between runs we got treats! What a wonderful day!
An excellent break from all that running!
Neither of us could believe our luck, to have a nice sunny day and a big yard to play in and four people to pay attention to us and provide drinks and treats!
Lance has the biggest water dish ever!
I’ll tell you a secret. I think Lance sort of likes me.
I think he’s blushing.
And I sort of like him too.
Whispering sweet nothings in his ear
Then of course the moms decide they should get a picture of the two of us sitting together.
Hey Lance! Let’s make them work for it!
Why do moms always do this? Does it seem like a good idea? I haven’t even graduated from puppy school yet, why would I want to sit and stay?
What is this stay thing you keep asking for?
Yep, it went about as well as you could expect.
OK, get the shot quick, cause I’m not sitting here one more second!
And just to add another little wrinkle to this photo shoot idea, they brought out Payton, Katie’s half sister, and decided they wanted a picture with all three of us!
This should be interesting.
Well. Payton is an old pro and sat stoically while all sorts of shenanigans went on beside her. It helps, I guess, that she’s deaf.
Stay means jump really high. Right?
I’m sure she was tired of sitting there, but finally mom got one shot of the three of us.
Payton was pretty disgusted by then.
We weren’t exactly all sitting. Ahem. But I did the best I could.
Mom ended up just taking pictures of the other two….
Handsome brother Lance and beautiful sister Payton.
…and then just of Payton, because mom says she looks so much like Katie, she couldn’t help but take a bunch of pictures of her. Mom was really glad she got to see Payton again.
Mom’s eyes leaked just a little bit.
And I got jealous and decided maybe I did too want my picture taken with my sister’s half sister.
Hey! Maybe I’ll pose for a picture after all!
And then Lance and I went back to playing!
Hey Lance! Wanna PLAY???
We played and played, and I started a lot of it!
I think we’ve met our match!
I couldn’t resist jumping on him to see if he’d run with me.
Come on! Let’s PLAY!!
And then the folks said we should go for a walk! A walk? Are you crazy? Lance and I just ran about a gazillion miles!
This was the perfect way to end our first date!
But their property was so pretty and shady that we all had a wonderful time exploring. Next time I expect I’ll be able to be off my leash and explore even more, just like Tally, Lance and Payton’s really big sister, and Payton.
Meet Tally. She’s such a good girl!
Isn’t she beautiful?
And then, after our walk when I thought we were going home, Lance’s mom and my dad got my loose ear glued down again.
What the heck, people!
And then it was time to say goodbye for now.
Three little shelties all in a row. Then mom said one had to go.
Boy I had a wonderful time.
Bye for now, Lance!
Today I sat by one of my windows and watched the clouds go by and dreamed of running in a big field with my friend Lance.
Saturday morning I walked in one of Katie’s parks along with 10 other people and an expert guide, to see the wildflowers blooming and tour some of the projects the township is working on to make more of the area open to the public.
One of several steep hills we climbed.
It was two plus miles of hills and wetlands, lots of little things blooming, and a cold, sunny day. I was very glad I’d worn waterproof shoes, and three layers of shirts!
Our guide told us what this was, but I can’t remember the name of it now.
I had just driven back home Friday afternoon, after five days of camping near the Sleeping Bear Dunes in cold, sometimes rainy, weather. I was kind of tired and thought about skipping this guided walk. It would be so easy to sleep in.
Tiny little white lady’s slippers just beginning to bloom.
But we were going to explore parts of the park I’ve never been to and I didn’t want to miss that, so I went. And I’m glad I did.
A lone trillium.
There will soon be so much more of the park available to explore, and I think it will be nice to have areas of the park that are new, without memories of Katie, that can be Penny’s alone.
Wild germanium
I can’t wait to show it all to her. They say the bridge from the parking lot to the new sections should be ready this fall. I don’t know, it seems like there is still a lot of work to do. But our guide, who is in charge of all the township parklands, says he’s confident they’ll get it all done.
Lupine
Meanwhile I’ll probably take Penny over to walk the trails Katie and I used to wander. The last time Katie and I were there she had a really good walk. Where before she had often refused to walk down the big hills, on this last walk, in the fall of 2021, she was eager to go.
I don’t know what this is, but it was pretty!
She walked much further than I expected her to, and even jumped over a tree branch that had fallen over the trail.
How fun! We got to go down trails that were normally off limits!
So I have those good memories to ease me into sharing her park with her new little sister, Penny.
Remnant.
The guided walk helped me, too, to see the park without Katie, but to realize she’ll always be there with me, just like she is in so many places.
Katie visited me in my dreams last night. I can’t remember the entire conversation, but I remember some, and the comfort her visit provided:
“Hey mama, I love you.”
“I know you do, baby-girl.”
Yea, but it seemed like maybe you needed to hear it.”
“Yes, I’ve been missing you something terrible.”
“I’ve noticed, mama. You’ve got to stop thinking about the day I crossed the bridge.”
“I know. But everywhere I look I remember you.”
“I’d think you’d be too busy with the new kid to spend much time missing me.”
“You’d think, right?”
“She seems like an OK kid, mama, but you can’t let her break all the rules, you know?”
“Like I did with you, huh?”
“Well, yea. Like you did with me. You’ve noticed she’s really smart, right?”
“Oh yes, we’ve noticed.”
“Well, she’s going to want to do lots of stuff, and some of it will be stuff you did with me and you can’t be crying all the time, OK? It’s not fair to the kid.”
“You’re right. I can’t be doing that. She deserves more from her mom.”
“She doesn’t call you mama?”
Nope, you’re the only one that calls me that. She calls me mom. But I’ll always be your mama.”
“I know mama. Always.”
“Always and forever, baby girl.”
“OK mama, now get going on the training…I watched that yellow flower photo shoot and frankly she’s got a lot to learn.”
“Awww give her a break, sweetie. She’s only 5 months old. She’ll figure it out once she stops putting everything into her mouth..”
“I know, mama. Well, I just wanted to stop by and tell you I love you. And to remind you to do right by the kid. I’m watching.”
Thanks, Katie-girl, it sure was nice of you to stop by.”
Penny here. I know you’ve heard from me a lot this month, but honestly, I’m the best thing mom and dad have going on right now, so I’m going to take advantage of that and get all the screen exposure I can! Cause I know things can change in an instant.
Gotta keep an eye out behind me, you never know what might sneak up on us.
Like for example…one moment I was playing with all my sisters at Mama S’s house and the next minute I was in a mom and dad’s arms and then in their car and then in my very own home!
Being aware of your surroundings is very important when you’re out in the world like this.
Sometimes I get to visit Mama S and my sister and my dog mom. That’s a lot of fun, and we play a whole bunch, but lately my mom and dad are taking me more places to explore. They say they’re exposing me to different sounds and smells, but mostly I think they just want to play.
That’s a pretty tree, mom, but you should be focusing all your attention on me.
Why last week mom took me to three parks! Three! I think she was trying to wear me out but that’s not going to happen. She said she didn’t want to waste the good weather, so we needed to go, go GO!
Sometimes mom has good ideas!
There could be something scary in this water!
The first park we visited was Independence Oaks. I’ve been there before, when mom met a friend there and we all went for a walk. But this time it was just us, and we were in a different part of the park.
I’m gonna break up this dangerous stick, OK mom?
I was a little uncertain for some reason that morning, not at all sure I wanted to be there. My mom is pretty observant and we didn’t stay too long. She says we’ll try again on a day when the park isn’t so busy.
Then on another day we went to a park I’ve never been to before! Mom said it was one of Katie’s favorites and that they used to camp here a lot.
I don’t know what camping is. Mom says that’s OK, when I’m a little older she’ll show me.
Is that another dog down there?
There was a big lake and mom took me down so I could smell the water. I think maybe I like water, but she wouldn’t let me go in. She said it was too cold.
I want to play IN the water, mom!
Too cold for a sheltie? I don’t know mom, I think it might be fun. Promise me you’ll let me wade later this summer, OK?
The lake looks pretty from up here, mom!
Then she said we were going to walk in the woods! I wasn’t at all sure I wanted to go into the woods!
I don’t know, mom. Are you sure?
There could be scary things in there!
I guess it’s not so bad in the woods.
On the other hand, it turned out that there were lots of wonderful smells in there! And mom let me smell all of them.
I practiced my sit. I even did a little staying. But not much.
It took us forever to do just a little bit of the trail that Katie and she used to walk all the time.
This is pretty cool, mom.
Eventually I got pretty comfortable in the woods, but there sure were a lot of smells and crazy sounds! And there was a boardwalk I didn’t like at all!
Nope! Not walking on this, mom!
Luckily mom scooped me up and carried me off the boardwalk. I was OK after that, but I was still glad to get back out into the open where I could make sure to protect mom from any scary woodland monsters.
So this place is full of people in the summer? Interesting.
Then, on another day mom took me to Springfield Oaks! I’d been there before, so I was cool with this park. It has a giant sledding hill that we climbed last time.
What’s that over there?
We walked around behind the sledding hill this time, so I could spend some time smelling at the edge of the woods. Lots of people walk their dogs there, so there was quite a bit of pee-mail for me to read.
We’re going to go up this hill, right mom?
But what I really wanted to do was run up that hill!
Mom said we didn’t have to, but I think that was just her not really wanting to go up it. I told her we needed to go up there to see what there was to see on the other side! After all, I’m an adventure-girl!
I posed a bunch for mom. I’m figuring out the modeling business can be very lucrative with treats.
But of course first mom had to take like a bajillion pictures. Katie warned me about her.
I even got to lay down on the job!
I decided I didn’t mind too much. The treats were good. But finally I dragged her the rest of the way up the hill and guess what? We could see a school bus and a whole bunch of kids down there!
Well what do you know, that looks fun!
I thought that was very interesting. Mom thought we should avoid them and go down the other side of the hill. So we did. And on our way down mom found these yellow flowers and got all excited.
Yellow flowers, mom? Really??!
She said something about Katie getting her picture taken every spring in the yellow flowers and I should sit there for her so she could get more pictures.
I guess if I can lay down I’ll let you take some pictures of me in the flowers.
Whatever mom.
Nom, nom, nom.
But wait! These are quite tasty! Another perk to being a model!
Mom said that was enough and it was time to go.
If I hide down here you can’t see me, right mom?
Sometimes mom has no sense of humor.
Anyway, those were my adventures in three parks last week! I don’t know how many more parks there are out there. I think Katie should have left me a map or a list or something. I guess I’ll just have to stay flexible and see what the folks have lined up for me next.
Oh yea, I forgot to tell you,I got dirt on my nose when I was in the woods!
I’m in puppy school with daddy, and that’s been kind of fun. So far they’re just doing stuff I mostly already know how to do, but I get lots of treats, so whatever, right?!
Time to sign off, this is way too long and I need my beauty sleep!
Change Is Hard 