Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Category Archives: Uncategorized


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Stress relief

Stress seems to be hovering over me like that dark cloud that follows cartoon characters.  Between Katie’s surgery and her cone of shame, my shoulder which is requiring physical therapy three times a week, and our Aunt’s move to a nursing home, it feels like the days are filled with concerns and difficult decisions.

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Sometimes it feels a bit overwhelming.

I don’t remembered even noticing the sky the past few weeks, but as I left the house yesterday  the clouds struck me as kind of pretty.  The weather was changing fast, the wind blowing the clouds around and the sun popping out for brief moments of brilliant light which moved like a spotlight across the yard.

Grabbing my camera I knew I didn’t have time to go far before the sky would be totally cloud covered and we’d be sunk once again into the grey that is often  a Michigan December afternoon.  I headed toward the closest wide open country around here, not sure what I’d find, but hopeful.

And I was right.  Barns, clouds, fields, all pretty in the changing light.

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I haven’t been on a barn hunt in months….maybe even a year.  It seems fitting that I get one more mini adventure in this year and that it revolve around barns.

 

And a church.

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I was only out there an hour, and the weight of the camera made my shoulder ache, but it was wonderful.  Recent problems fell away and it was just me chasing the light through crisp air and skies filled with heavy navy clouds.

I guess it’s worth remembering to do something you love as often as possible.  It helps to deal with all the other stuff if you give yourself a break now and then.

 

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Happy New Year everybody!  May we all work through the problems that will inevitably come along, and may we balance those out with moments of pure joy doing the things that make us happiest.

 

 

 

 


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Imagine

Imagine you’ve lived on your own for over 100 years. Sure the only reason you could is because people helped along the way, but you had your own space. You had your own things around you, things that reminded you of places and people you’ve loved.

And then imagine the day comes that you can’t live alone anymore and you find yourself in a cramped and overheated space with strange sounds and sights, strangers in and out of your small space, other people determining when you sleep and when you are awake, what you eat, when you shower.

You are depressed.

Your things are gone, your space is gone, your pet is gone, your friends are far away. Only your family and your memories remain.

Your family tries to make it better but there is no better here. They remind you to get out of bed and move your feet and legs but you don’t want to. They try to entertain you when they visit but the visits are never frequent enough even when they occur every day. And they can’t change the reality.

You are tired.

You can’t see very much, can’t hear anything when your hearing aid is away being repaired. Your roommates change but are similarly confused and wandering.

You are scared.

There are noises in the hall that you can’t identify. You can’t tell when people are headed into your room or when they are just passing by.

You are dependent on strangers.

You used to be independent. You like to tell people that you always did things for yourself. You tell people you don’t like to be a burden. That you like to make your own decisions.

But you are allowed so few decisions now.

You recognize that your time is short. And you’re not sure if that isn’t a good thing. Because you can’t imagine your life moving forward like this forever.

You never imagined life ending this way. Or that the gift of living to be 101 could be so hard.

Just never imagined.


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Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Reflections

I was setting up to shoot some Christmas lights through a window when I accidentally pressed the shutter. Instinctively I stayed still until I heard the shutter close. Still, it’s blury, caused by the double pane window and a bit of me moving.

Photographer reflections

Photographer reflections

I was going to delete it, but I kind of liked the impressionistic look. And then I remembered Cee’s challenge – reflections.


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12 years ago today.

Dad's favorite place to be was on a boat.

Dad’s favorite place to be — on a boat.

I wasn’t going to write about this. That today is another anniversary of the semitruck crash that took our remaining parent.

Big brother

Big brother

But today I seem to be blocked and unable to write about anything else.

One of my favorite of his childhood pictures.

One of my favorites of his childhood pictures.

And so I will mark the day so that I can move forward. Not move on, because that implies that I leave him behind, but forward.

Young man growing up to be a dad.

Young man growing up to be a dad.

Today I am moving forward with him, and mom, always with me.

Merry Christmas you two.

Merry Christmas you two.


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HEY! This is not the way I thought I’d celebrate!

Katie here!

What you say? You just heard from me? You wonder if mama is even doing anything interesting? Well, according to me, the princess, she is not.

Besides! It’s my tenth birthday!

That’s double digits people! It’s a big deal and I’ve been looking forward to it for months! (OK, for moments, but in dog years that’s the same as months.)

There should be cake! And treats and balloons and guests and party hats! And gifts. Lots and lots of gifts.

But instead mama got me this.

Not my color mama!

Not my color mama!

I hate it. I can’t see through it, it flops over my eyes, and it’s not my color. Everybody knows that my color is pink. This thing is not pink. And even the bandage on my leg is blue instead of pink.

Obviously a grievous error.

Mama put me back in the clear cone that the vet gave me. I like it better cause I can see stuff coming at me. Like a treat. Not that I’ve seen any birthday treats. But just in case I’m ready.

This is not my favorite thing either mama!

This is not my favorite thing either mama!

Also it makes an awesome snow scoop.

Mama says I’m really tired and since I’m on pain meds we should probably celebrate my birthday once this whole cone thing is done. What’s a couple weeks anyway she says? Just about a trillion dog years…but whatever mama.

I need a nap but mama says I have to stay awake long enough to tell you that the thing on my leg that the vet took off was just a wart and nothing to worry about.

So now I have to wear this lovely cone of shame for two whole weeks! Sigh. I’m not very good at being a patient. I ask to go outside and then make mama or daddy walk around and around my path without actually doing anything. I mean what do they think? I can’t sniff for a good spot wearing this ridiculous headgear. But then they took it off so I could sniff and I still won’t do anything. I like to make them nuts. Especially when it’s so cold outside and the wind is blowing so hard.

And last night I made mama sleep on the floor next to me. Mostly I didn’t need her but it was nice to push up against her when I woke up scared in the middle of the night. I’m glad she was there. And just cause she did that I let her sleep all the way until 6 a.m. this morning.

Maybe I’ll let her sleep till 6:15 a.m. tomorrow. We’ll see how I’m feeling. Could go either way.

Meanwhile, I expect a big celebration of my birthday after this stupid cone is gone. I’m starting to gather my list of demands now. A princess has to be ready, don’t you know.

Katie here, signing out – thank you all for all your good thoughts and prayers when I went under the knife. I know they made a big difference, and they certainly made mama feel better.

Sending you all sheltie hugs and kisses. And if you need a cone, I have a spare.

My snow scoop.

My snow scoop.


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Challenges and legs and ribbons oh my!

Katie here.

I told mama she couldn’t hoard our blog all to herself cause I had stuff to talk about and I know my loyal subjects get impatient if they aren’t kept up to date on my life. As a princess I have certain responsibilities to all of you and I won’t allow mama to get in the way!

Ahem.

So anyway, remember when I told you that mama and I had retired from competition? We were living the life of leisure, lounging around eating bon bons and camping, and going for long walks on the beach. Life was good.

Relaxing in retirement.

Relaxing in retirement.

And then the days got shorter and colder and mama said that I needed something to do since we wouldn’t be going on so many adventures! No more adventures mama? What are you talking about?

But you know what? It turned out just fine because she signed me up for school two times a week! As you all know I love school. People think it’s because I like to be challenged, but really it’s because I like the treats, and all the attention, and being called beautiful and stuff.

Don’t tell mama, I don’t want her to be disillusioned.

I’m going to nosework classes on Thursdays and rally classes on Tuesdays. It’s a blast. I especially like nosework. I mean, you’d think maybe a dog dreamed this game up. You just go into the ring, sniff a few boxes and stuff, tell your person when you find the scent and get a ton of treats! Really! You sniff a box, get a treat!

I absolutely love this game!

I pull mama into the ring at breakneck speed (OK, I usually zoom past the first 14 boxes, but I’m working on being more methodical) and run around like a crazy dog until my head swings around and I focus on one particular box and then I stare at my mama real intently until she figures out I’m trying to tell her “THIS IS IT MAMA!!!” and if I’m right…I get treats!

Hanging out in my crate. Boring.

Hanging out in my crate. Boring.

So last weekend I went to my first nosework trial. Mama signed me up for two attempts. The first run was perfect, it took me all of 12 seconds to find the right box. Even mama was surprised! But the second run I was overconfident and told mama that two different boxes were the one, when in fact they were not. I was just anxious to get those treats you know, and mama fell for it. She says she learned a lot by that mistake, so it’s OK that we didn’t qualify on that leg. She says we’ll go back and learn some more.

And this weekend she and I went to a rally trial, the first one we’ve gone to in 4 years. We are competing in ‘excellent’ now, the top level, because I already got my title for ‘novice’ and ‘advanced.’ Mama was pretty nervous because most of the responsibility is on her.

She has to read the signs.

I could read them for her, but what would be the fun in that? Mostly I just sit when she says sit and down when she says down and think about following along with her in between. Unless I see something more interesting. Like a jump for example.

She signed us up for two runs this time too, she said she drove too far for us to only do this once, so I had to hang around for a few hours but that turned out to be OK because we met a new friend. This is Jade, she’s really friendly and really smart. Her mom is nice too.

Meet Jade!

Meet Jade!

Anyway, the first run I was a bit ditzy and wandered around a bunch and I think mama messed up on one sign, but we ended up with 90 out of 100 points and got 5th place, and mama just wanted to qualify so she was happy.

And our second run went even better. OK, not right at the beginning because I watched mama put my leash over to the left on a chair and after the judge lady said “Forward!” and we started out I decided to go over there and sniff out the situation. Cause why would mama put my leash over there? But mama called me back. Twice. And finally after an eternity (per mama) I got back in line and heeled my way around the course with her. We got a score of 98 and 2nd place, only 1 point behind our new friend Jade who got 1st place!

See my beautiful ribbon?

See my beautiful ribbon?

Jade and I each got a new toy!! We were all very excited.

So now I’m pretty worn out and need my princess nap, but I decided to stay up and tell you about my latest adventures instead. I know you’ll sleep better tonight knowing all is well in Katie’s world.

Mama’s going to sleep pretty good too. But don’t worry, I’ll be getting her up early tomorrow just like every day. I’m dependable like that.

Katie signing off for now. Hugs and kisses to all of you.

Mine mine mine!

Mine mine mine!