Change Is Hard

I’m getting ready for my trip to DC this week where we’ll be filming a video about the Truck Safety Coalition.  My part of it deals with our outreach efforts.  I’ve been writing answers to potential questions, getting the feel for the words, figuring out how I might say something, working on impact.

Can I practice on you?  These are not the exact questions, I haven’t been provided those yet…but this is the topic and the areas that will be covered.  And this is my first attempt at trying to explain the importance of our outreach piece.  Yes we work on changing laws and getting new rules issued.  But we also work at finding the families touched by truck crashes and offering them support.

So here goes:

Why is it important to reach out to families?

These families have been, without warning, thrust into a world filled with pain and grief.  They aren’t prepared, and everything is confusing.  The heartache is unbelievable.  Most don’t know what they should do first, where they should focus.  It’s all they can do to get through each day, one moment at a time.

While they are in the initial stages of shock and grief they don’t realize there are things they may need to do to preserve evidence, to help them later when they face the court system and the truck company. They are focused on their loved one, whether it’s to prepare a funeral, or help them begin the long road back to health.    We provide them information if they want it, resources if they need them, and most importantly, a listening ear, a hug, support from someone that’s been in a similar position.

What is special about the Sorrow to Strength Conference?

The Sorrow to Strength Conference, held every other year,  is a place where  survivors and families of truck crash victims can gather and share.  We honor our lost loved ones, we support the injured and we provide hope for those families just beginning the long journey.

We spend the weekend connecting with other families and learning how to make changes in the industry, either through legislation or governmental safety agencies.  Most families have had no political experience, so this is all new and somewhat intimidating. The conference helps to introduce victims and families to ways they can make a difference.  There is a universal feeling among families who attend the conference; they want changes made so that another family doesn’t have to go through what they are going through.

The conference identifies key truck safety priorities, and arranges for families to meet with their state’s legislative offices to discuss safety issues.   The conference also arranges meetings with members of the Department of Transportation, the Federal Motor Carriers Safety Administration, National Highway Transportation Safety Administration and the National Transportation Safety Board.  These are all important agencies with safety oversight responsibilities.

Sometimes people in Washington forget that there are faces on statistics.  When 4,000 people die in truck related crashes each year it can be hard to focus on individuals.  The Sorrow to Strength conference allows Truck Safety volunteers, comprised of families who have borne the brunt of these tragedies, to bring the statistics back to human scale.  When five or six of us sit in a meeting room, holding our loved ones pictures, and each of us tells the short version of our story, one after another, the impact is unforgettable.  Administrators who have been working on studies and research look us each in the eye and realize that safety has to be their number one priority.  Without the conference none of us would have access to these people, or an opportunity to tell our stories to such high ranking officials.

What do these outreach programs mean to a family who has experienced a loss?

I can speak from my own experience.  When Dad was killed in 2004 we were suddenly alone in a crazy world that we didn’t understand.  Truck Safety gave us direction, told us what to look for in a lawyer, what to do first to preserve evidence.  And as we moved through the process they helped us to understand what to expect from each step and how to prepare for it.     I don’t know what we would have done without them.

For other families, the connection with a Truck Safety volunteer may provide a safe place, maybe the only safe place they have, for them to express their grief no matter what.  When the rest of the world has moved on and a family member feels like they should ‘be over it’ the volunteer will tell them that it’s OK to grieve.  It’s OK to feel bad.  That someday they won’t feel so bad, but for now whatever they are feeling is right, and no they are not going crazy.

Truck Safety Outreach programs help families get through the sorrow and move toward strength.  Every family wants to make a difference, and through Truck Safety they can.  Unfortunately it is inevitable that there will be new families joining us this year and every year.    Our goal is to try to find those families and to let them know that they are not alone.    It’s the way we can make a difference.

And it’s the way we honor those we loved and lost.